What A Dreary Day0

March 20. The 1st day of Spring. And my birthday. The weather here today totally reflects my mood. Cold, rainy, overcast. The 2nd birthday since my precious little boy was kidnapped by an agency that is supposedly in existence to protect children but in fact does more damage to families than someone who hasn’t dealt with them could possibly imagine. An agency that tears families apart just because they can.

My son should be here celebrating with me. We should be eating cake & ice cream & laughing about how many candles are on Mommy’s cake. Instead I’m sitting here holding back tears. If there’s anyone out there following this blog, you’ll know this shouldn’t even be happening! I can’t believe it’s still going on. And I hurt. Deeply hurt. It is truly only by the grace of God that I can keep going each day. And it is with His grace I’ll make it through.

Those of you who are praying folks, please pray especially hard for me today. I really need it.



I received some information yesterday that is most disturbing…in fact down right scary! It seems that, in the state I live in at least, the state (in the form of CPS) can try to prevent reunification BECAUSE of my son’s molestation…claiming that I failed to protect him…even though there was no way for me to even know it was happening!

The abuse occurred in the beginning of the 2005-2006 school year. At that point his father, my then husband, was taking him to school in the mornings & I was picking him up after I got off work. After a couple of months, my son started insisting that I take him to school instead. When I asked him why, all he would say is that his dad wouldn’t buckle him up. FYI, the abuse was in the form of touching, so there were no physical indictations that there was abuse. It was enough for me to decide to take some precautions, but not enough to take any kind of legal type action. To be safe, I started taking my son to school, kicked the perv out of my bedroom & brought my little guy in (he was 5 at the time), locking the bedroom door at night, & NEVER allowed my son to be alone with his dad. About 4 years later, when my son finally told me about the abuse, I did exactly what I should have…I reported it (which, as it turned out, was the start of this entire mess…see my earlier posts for that story).

The problem here, not just for me but for any parent of a molestation victim, is that we are at risk of having our children taken from us because of the criminal actions of another person, even if we had no way of knowing the abuse was happening! Even when, once we are suspicious & take action to prevent it from happening again. Even when, once the child has disclosed to us we report it. We can do everything right & STILL be blamed!

Folks, that attitude on the part of CPS can only lead to one result. As more parents become aware of this, even fewer are going to be willing to report the sexual abuse of their children. Which means even more child predators won’t face justice, will remain free to harm even more children.

AND THAT’S JUST PLAIN INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


When the good news really isn’t all that good0

Three weeks ago, my child was moved from a therapeutic group home to a therapeutic foster home. This should be able to be seen as good news as it indicates, or should anyway, that he is on his way to being ready to come home. In actuality, however, it has been a move that has presented additional problems. First, I was allowed no contact what so ever until yesterday when we had our first supervised visit since the move (note that once again, although I did nothing wrong other than to question a determination notice about a report I made about a child molestation, a determination notice that was written up to be more about me, the reporter rather than about the person being reported, my visits with my child are SUPERVISED!)

Prior to this move I had daily telephone contact with my son. There were never any problems or issues with this. And yet, since the move I haven’t been allowed ANY phone contact at all. When I asked after our visit yesterday about getting a phone number so I could start making calls again, I was informed that phone contact hadn’t been approved as of yet. WHAT?!?!?! At least my child heard me ask and heard their answer so he knows he is purposely being kept out of contact with me (I’m sure those in charge of making decisions like that aren’t thrilled about him knowing that they are responsible for us not being able to talk on the phone any more).

Funny…I’m doing everything they have required of me. There’s even someone on their end of this who questions the validity of the case. And still, with each step forward I make, with each piece of news about the molester (who, BTW, is currently sitting in jail awaiting sentencing on child a po**ography conviction but still hasn’t been charged with the molestaion) has come out, things are being made harder on me.

You know, I have to wonder if those who are involved in the “kidjacking” of our precious babies read these blogs. If sharing our experiences could be hurting our efforts to get them back home. I know, that’s probably paranoid type thinking…or is it?



So now it’s Christmas 2009. Still my son is being held hostage to ptrvent my filing a major law suit against this horrid agency. In spite of the fact that the perp CPS called me a liar over is now incarcerated awaiting sentencing for being a child predator, or perhaps it’s because of…as in they can’t deal with the fact they were proven to be wrong & totally out of line. It’s awful. My child & I were both victims of this man’s actions yet I’m the one being treated like a criminal. Sometimes I don’t think I can take any more of this insane business they have bogged me down in, but I know I have to stay strong for my little guy.

I’ve had people with expertise read the document that began this whole ordeal. All agree that there are, to say the least, HEPA law violations in it. Doesn’t soothe my hurt today though. We should be together. I should be enjoying the excitement on his face as he opens his gifts, not feeling so down that I don’t even want to get dressed. I know today will pass and so too will the harshness of what I’m feeling right at this moment.

Merry Christmas, my precious child. Next year will be better, next year we WILL be spending Christmas together. I’ll find a way to make sure that happens.



To be brief, there really isn’t one. Although the unfortunate choice I had made in terms of a spouse (now ex) and in staying with him for as long as I did is facing felony charges of child porn, our local CPS agency is still treating me as though I had lied to them in making the initial report. One worker, who I know from her being involved in getting my child set up with all the services available to him, let me know off the record that they really do need to start believing me.

On the other hand, my son’s therapist (inpatient) is fully supportive of me. My son has repeatedly spoken out about the abuse he suffered at the hands of his so called father. She is even sending a letter to my attorney stating that they really need to get me moved up to where my child is so that we can get the reunification process through. CPS though, it seems, is waiting for the outcome of the perps trial before they commit to anything.

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