Our last visit from CPS was late July a few weeks before I was due. They actually knocked on my door a minute after my mom came through it with a cake for Danny’s birthday party to do a walk through. Seeing my mom was there and gusts, I got a chummy, “I see you havent had the baby yet? Oh! I’m sorry I see that you have a birthday party going on, I’ll be quick…” Excuse me if I missed the sincerity and dissapointed you.

I still hold to my thoughts that they were trying to guestimate about when I was due so they could surprise me during the first week of newborn-dom.

He did his walk through and then stated they were waiting for the kids pediatrician to get back to them and that the case was still undetermined. This has been the wildcard term they have used.

“The case is undertermined whether or not abuse and neglect is eminent…”

It’s like, what more can I give you? They require ridiculous shows of determination as a parent to PROVE Im worthy… shouldn’t they go on who you are naturally? Not by how high and far you can jump?

He said they were trying to close out the case by the end of the month and that if we dont hear from them it’s a ‘good thing’ (What? You think it’s a good thing to leave parents hanging on whether or not you are going to proceed to try and tear their family apart?). He also said that his manager was particularly picky and that if there is anything else she comes up with we would be getting a visit from them. Nice. More anal retentive OCD CPS agents- but this explains a lot, too.

He left waving, and I was left with thoughts of CPS agents showing up in my birthing postpartum room to take away my newborn. Friends scoff at me as if… “Come on Jyn, they wouldn’t do that, they couldnt do THAT…” but as many of you know, they do and they can.

Why? Who knows. In all honesty, who really KNOWS what brainwashing they have had done to them thinking they are saving the country of bad parenting because- government knows best how to raise our children right?

I received a letter last week (mid September) stating that they closed our case. What really got my goat was how they worded it. “We are required by law to investigate any claims of abuse and although we saw signs of potential abuse and neglect we did not have enough evidence to prove that abuse and neglect was indeed occuring…”

Give me a break. If it wasn’t enough that they put me through half a year of HELL but they have to try and hold their own composure by wording it as if I was indeed guilty but that they were unable to build their case enough to follow through.

I’m still left scarred…. I have nightmares about my doorbell ringing and seeing his face still.

Emmalia's Birth

Emmalia's Birth

In the meantime I had a healthy baby girl August 6th via waterbirth. She was absolutely perfect and at a month old we’re constantly changing around our schedules to accommodate her nursing needs. 

Emma 1 mo old

Emma 1 mo old

Also, Things couldn’t have happened at a better time. My washing machine is on it’s last legs and the laundry is piling up. Since it is managed via a computer inside, it gives me a fail error multiple times during loads. It takes a few hours just toget one load washed sometimes with the need to micromanage the cycles and finness it sometimes into another cycle mode just to unlock.

My laundry room

My laundry room

Of course everything is IN A HAMPER, it’s just overflowing now with a family of 8. I was just waiting for CPS to come and tell me how unacceptable the laundryroom was and how it was a danger to my kid’s lives.

July 2009

Our dining room and Kitchen

Well, here is the downstairs recently. I’m due in 5 weeks so it’s getting down to the wire.
We havent heard from CPS since June, where they said that their case was inconclusive whether or not our home was a detriment to the safety of the kids.

We looked for a new home for a while but things werent panning out, so we’re staying. It’s still nerve wrecking because- Im sure theyre waiting for me to have the baby first before visiting. They have VERY LITTLE to prosecute and take my kids over, so if anything would provide any material- a new baby would be one.

Holding a new guy!

I even had a new visitor recently and got to hold her 6 week old baby. 🙂 I look forward to the day I can feel more comfortable in my own home having people over and not having to jump everytime the doorbell rings or someone knocks.

Remind me I need to install a peephole too…


Second Surprise Visit

So, I have been gone all weekend in Los Angeles visiting my best friend before I have this baby. Im 23 weeks pregnant so I had a little time to travel.

I got home Sunday night, late, and Monday morning my husband had to leave for Dallas on a business trip. I have been battling a virus all week as it is, and I was bedraggled.

In the afternoon I DID have that tugging feeling inside, but I have that tugging feeling quite often anyway given the situation. It was hot out- 80 degrees here, and the kids were playing in the backyard with the hose. CPS decided to come at 5:00pm and do a walk through. When I opened the door (I dont have a peephole unfortunately) all the blood in my body dropped to my feet because I felt unprepared.

I live in a living, breathing home of 7 people actively utilizing the house at random throughout the day. We dont live in a hotel and I cant follow the kids around all day making sure they turn off every light and pick up every toy the minute they take them out. At the end of the day, when the kids get ready for bed- we play clean up and pick things up.

There were a few dishes in the sink when he came, and the girl’s room was a tad untidy (papers they were coloring along with stuffed animals).

He took pictures then said that he felt had it not been for the maid service we had hired twice a month, I probably would have been over my head and that things were accumilating. I can only sit there and stare at him like he’s nuts.

I explained there is an ebb and flow of things in a home of 7 people, but that overall things get taken care of and are sanitary. He said that he would have to report the conditions of the home ‘inconclusive’ as whether or not the home would be a safe place for my children to be, and told me they would be making another visit soon.

It just makes you feel raped over and over. I feel like Im being harassed by the mafia only it’s a government agency. Ive been working myself to the bone now to the point of anxiety and I havent been able to kick this virus Im fighting. The stress feels overwhelming at times as do the nightmares. When is it going to end.

Were desperately looking for a new home and Ive been packing and purging things, only to have panic attacks that they are going to come in the middle of packing. I randomly sit in the middle of the floor and cry at times over the minor things they have power to take your kids over. There is no rest and it creates a huge stress on your marriage and your relationship with your kids. You turn into a slave driver, following the kids around forcing them to pick up everything, not allowing them to play with pens or crayons or clay or take things down to play with. I’m a prisoner in my home home.

CPS Re-Evaluation

Friday afternoon, one agent only came from CPS, instead of 2 and a police officer.

We had 2 maids come help us detail for 4 hours the evening prior who were also shocked at the way we have been treated. The owners of the maid service felt obligated to write CPS a letter stating that our house was not in any condition showing neglect over time, as it usually takes frequent sanitizing efforts to recover a home in that state. They confirmed we were being harassed.

The agent walked through my home taking pictures, this time deciding to take pictures of the garage and my bedroom, also, which he didnt take on the original visit stating it wasn’t a child living area if they didnt go in there. I guess he changed his mind?

I also inquired about exact reasons to remove the home (what specifics made my home inhabitable for the kids) and all he could tell us was that “the clutter proved to be easier cleaned up without the children present”.

Let me warn you, readers, that- what the agent SAYS to you is not in stone. They can say whatever they want and then change their story. The proof is what is on the report and record, and until you get a hold of that, everything is hearsay.

I was also critical over the fact they interviewed my children alone separately and conviently while they were interviewing me downstairs. My girls have both told me it was a lie that we left them home alone on multiple occasions. My daughter has also since, learned a lesson about adults. Prior to this, she believed Adults couldn’t lie.

The kids were given the okay and then we were told that they would be giving us a surprise visit within the next 30-60 days.

This has force injected an anal bug into our bodies now. We can’t relax, feel comfortable or peaceful in our own home and are constantly looking for something we missed to clean.

Im beaten broken and anxiety takes over too often.


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  • sabem: I cannot express to you the sympathy I have for your experiences!I too have had a similar bout with DHS. I...
  • beth hanson: I understand you’re pain I went through a 2 year case from cps in az I lost mmmy two beautyful...
  • sith: my kids were taken bye dyfs for no reason but names.. they found nothing on me or my husband. just hear say...
  • Jane: This story scares me as a new mother. My sister had the brilliant idea to call CPS on me and lie about this and...
  • eddie franklin: I feel and hurt deeply inside for you and your husband.The only way to fight these IDIOTS is to put...


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