Our last visit from CPS was late July a few weeks before I was due. They actually knocked on my door a minute after my mom came through it with a cake for Danny’s birthday party to do a walk through. Seeing my mom was there and gusts, I got a chummy, “I see you havent had the baby yet? Oh! I’m sorry I see that you have a birthday party going on, I’ll be quick…” Excuse me if I missed the sincerity and dissapointed you.

I still hold to my thoughts that they were trying to guestimate about when I was due so they could surprise me during the first week of newborn-dom.

He did his walk through and then stated they were waiting for the kids pediatrician to get back to them and that the case was still undetermined. This has been the wildcard term they have used.

“The case is undertermined whether or not abuse and neglect is eminent…”

It’s like, what more can I give you? They require ridiculous shows of determination as a parent to PROVE Im worthy… shouldn’t they go on who you are naturally? Not by how high and far you can jump?

He said they were trying to close out the case by the end of the month and that if we dont hear from them it’s a ‘good thing’ (What? You think it’s a good thing to leave parents hanging on whether or not you are going to proceed to try and tear their family apart?). He also said that his manager was particularly picky and that if there is anything else she comes up with we would be getting a visit from them. Nice. More anal retentive OCD CPS agents- but this explains a lot, too.

He left waving, and I was left with thoughts of CPS agents showing up in my birthing postpartum room to take away my newborn. Friends scoff at me as if… “Come on Jyn, they wouldn’t do that, they couldnt do THAT…” but as many of you know, they do and they can.

Why? Who knows. In all honesty, who really KNOWS what brainwashing they have had done to them thinking they are saving the country of bad parenting because- government knows best how to raise our children right?

I received a letter last week (mid September) stating that they closed our case. What really got my goat was how they worded it. “We are required by law to investigate any claims of abuse and although we saw signs of potential abuse and neglect we did not have enough evidence to prove that abuse and neglect was indeed occuring…”

Give me a break. If it wasn’t enough that they put me through half a year of HELL but they have to try and hold their own composure by wording it as if I was indeed guilty but that they were unable to build their case enough to follow through.

I’m still left scarred…. I have nightmares about my doorbell ringing and seeing his face still.

Emmalia's Birth

Emmalia's Birth

In the meantime I had a healthy baby girl August 6th via waterbirth. She was absolutely perfect and at a month old we’re constantly changing around our schedules to accommodate her nursing needs. 

Emma 1 mo old

Emma 1 mo old

Also, Things couldn’t have happened at a better time. My washing machine is on it’s last legs and the laundry is piling up. Since it is managed via a computer inside, it gives me a fail error multiple times during loads. It takes a few hours just toget one load washed sometimes with the need to micromanage the cycles and finness it sometimes into another cycle mode just to unlock.

My laundry room

My laundry room

Of course everything is IN A HAMPER, it’s just overflowing now with a family of 8. I was just waiting for CPS to come and tell me how unacceptable the laundryroom was and how it was a danger to my kid’s lives.

I left a comment for you over at Legally Kidnapped on the Walmart post but I wasn’t sure that you’d see it. I am so sorry for what hell you and your family were put through. There is no excuse. No excuse. It’s been years and I still get panicked when my doorbell rings. And I have to add that your house in those pictures is much cleaner than MINE!

That is the thing… there is no reason why I have to sweat and stress over keeping my house THIS CLEAN with 6 kids! This is what forces parents to neglect kids. Neglect the kids needs for time and love and cuddling- stories read to them, time to fly kites and go outside.
Instead parents are forced to scrub and clean and paint and wash in fear that CPS will take the kids.

My house has barely been dirtier since they came, and every social check has been “Well, we are deeming your case undetermined…” which is complete BS.

Think CPS can’t take your kids because a sink full of dishes? Sure they can. It’s all left up to the opinion of the agent. It’s all up to the law’s version of what shade of gray they want to enforce. Its all just plain wrong. And there is NO SPECIFIC documentation as far as what is considered unsanitary. Usually it means severe chance of harm, such as broken glass or things that might fall and kill a child- huge piles of garbage, etc. Trash bags in kid’s rooms because we are cleaning does NOT show a living hazard.

They even had to add “It’s unacceptable to ‘store’ trash in your kid’s rooms…” and I’m thinking, Are you NUTS?

This story scares me as a new mother. My sister had the brilliant idea to call CPS on me and lie about this and that, so now they have injected their bile into our lives. My partner and I are broke as hell and simply can’t afford to hire maids and repaint (our RENTAL) and get new carpet because ancient cats decided to pee everywhere. I’ve already been told that my home is a hazard. Our social worker actually called my midwife and criticized her for having a home birth here. At this point I’m trying to stay positive while preparing for the worst. I feel it in my bones that they’ll take my daughter. Any advice would be helpful.

By the way, momma.. you’re absolutely gorgeous as are your photographs, home, and family, Congratulations on a life well lived, and you’re not even done yet!! <3

22 May 2013, 3:06am
by beth hanson

I understand you’re pain I went through a 2 year case from cps in az I lost mmmy two beautyful babies to my abuseive exhusbands. Mother the whole case was crooked I still have ptsd from the case every thing I did wasent enough what I said was taken way out of line and cotext honestly they like you or they don’t there whole state departments are corrected and god forbid you were a cps kid victim they throw you’re past in you’re face like because you’re mothwe was a bad parent you must be too I wish I had enough facts on paper proof but who keeps. Recordings and documents agnist the government and you’re in laws I didn’t my conclusion is they don’t care they destroyed my life lied to me and my daughters and no lawyer wants to face them cps well allways win I just pray to god everyday for peace to be put in her heart and hopeing I could tell my story and help someone else one day

I cannot express to you the sympathy I have for your experiences!I too have had a similar bout with DHS. I have created a Facebook page for all of us parents that have been abused by this agency to come together and fight back against their ridiculous accusations. I am hoping that if enough of us can unite, our voices will be heard! Please join my page for updated news and information on our fight for our natural right to parent our children. If you happen to find any valid information (not i not posted on the sight) that would be helpful to other families that are currently experiencing DHS in their lives or have in the past, please message me and I’ll make sure to post it. We are all in this together! For those of us that who have had our parental rights temporarily taken from us “unreasonably”, we truly need to fight our government for these rights to remain ours!


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  • sabem: I cannot express to you the sympathy I have for your experiences!I too have had a similar bout with DHS. I...
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