Some of you may remember the Kitsap County case that was posted on Kidjacked back in 2004. I can’t express how pleased I am to hear that this young mother, fought CPS and won. Her child was returned home to her after a horrendous ordeal. She offers advice and words of encouragment for parents who find themselves fighting to bring their children home.
My children are home with me. My fight was well worth it, as I believe that our case did make a difference for others. I found a lot of inner strength I didn’t know I had through our ordeal and it made me a better person and better mother.
Since then, sadly, I have found that far too few parents really are willing to fight for their children. Regardless of what brought them into the situation they are in, many refuse to do what they need to do. I refused to be a victim but I also chose to learn and grow from everything we went through. I took whatever classes etc they asked/demanding with an attitude of believing that it would only make me a better parent so why not?
Of course, as you know, CPS chose to twist and distort whatever I did and turn it around but because I was determined to do whatever it took for my daughter, I didn’t give them any ‘bullets’ to shoot me with. I kept detailed documentation of EVERYTHING! That, Annette, is the most powerful weapon you can have against CPS — they fight dirty but if you fight with truth that is backed up with documentation then you will win.
I won not just custody of my daughter I won much more. I fought one of the most corrupt offices in our state because:
- I refused for one second to believe I would not get my daughter back.
- I chose to see everything as an opportunity to learn, grow, and be a better parent.
- I did not rely on others to fight for me; I did not sit back and let myself be a silent victim.
- I SCREAMED out the wrongs that were committed against us, despite the threats against my daughter and I by CPS and all the corrupt people associated with them including my own worthless attorneys.
- I kept my ‘nose clean’ – CPS looks for any little reason to slam you and when they can’t find one they make them up as they go. I refused to give them one and when they lied, I had documentation to prove their lies.
- I learned what the laws were in our state, I learned what my rights were, I never signed anything without reading and understanding what I was signing. This definitely seemed to go against me at first, it pissed off the system to no end but it preserved my and my daughter’s rights in the long-term.
- I refused to let CPS terrify me. They are a corrupt bunch of liars and they see children as nothing more then the means to keep their jobs secure – without children they have no reason to be.
- I documented everything — DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT
- Get witnesses, build your support network through therapists, councilors, and legislators.
- Recognize that no parent is perfect but every parent CAN grow and be better. Denying that you make mistakes is ridiculous. That does NOT mean spill your guts to CPS – that is plain stupid. It means you recognize areas that need strengthening and you focus on them, growing, learning, and becoming stronger for your child’s sake.
Never Give Up!
I could add much more but I am sure you understand where I am going. I had a friend that made a huge difference in how I saw things during that time. He told me that if I needed to scream/vent etc. to do it privately at him. However, when I was in court or attending those joke meetings that I should NEVER let myself get emotional and angry. They want that and will (and did) push my buttons so I would lose composure and they could say I was not able to handle stress, so I would not be able to care for my child.
I learned hard to control the rage within me, and it was rage — my daughter was placed in five foster homes, in less than five months and was abused in each one. She had NEVER been abused or neglected before.
I had gotten ill and was hospitalized and it took nearly a year to get her home. She was four, blue eyed, blonde and beautiful and was considered HIGHLY adoptable so CPS had no intention of reunification.
I wrote to every attorney, civil rights organizations, legislatures, congressional representative, politician, even the president himself. I refused to be silenced. I filed grievances and learned to file my own court documents, motions, etc… (in the accepted manner) due to learning not to rely on court kangaroos to fight for me (they earn their income because of CPS and so they too need the system to fund their life styles).
Most of all Annette, I prayed. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed, and asked God to help me see what I needed to learn from it all. I believed that there was a greater purpose that I wasn’t understanding, I still believe that. I am not a ‘religious’ person at all, but I have faith in God and that ordeal only strengthened that faith.
My daughter came home almost one year after she was removed from our home. She was covered in ugly bruises and scratches, from a much older foster girl who took out her rage on my five-year-old baby girl. I had tried to report the abuse earlier and the worthless POS social worker said, “it must be payback!”
What could a five-year-old girl have done to deserve that?
The social worker made the mistake of thinking she was above reproach and that I was the average cowering parent that would bow down to her. I bow only to God and that definitely made the social worker angry and I had a much harder time of it but I am okay with that, as I know that my case has helped many other people, even now after over eight years. That knowledge helps me to be thankful for what we went through, knowing that somehow there was good to come from it, not that I would have willingly asked for the experience.
My daughter is doing incredible, she remembers all of that and still will have a nightmare here and there but she knows how hard her mom fought for her, she knows that her mom never once gave up. She knows that her mom would/will do whatever it takes for her.
I sat outside the CPS building many times filled with rage, wanting to blow that evil box to hell. I fought so hard to NOT grab my baby during visits and just run. I knew that none of that would make things better in the long run, no matter how much I hurt at the time so I prayed. I prayed for strength, faith, wisdom, and help. God heard and answered my prayers – not how I would have answered but even better and I am thankful. My family is stronger and closer then ever and that is a great thing.