27 Mar 2009, 3:36am

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What’s Our Story?

I never in a thousand years would have thought I would find myself here.

When I go out in public with my children- I get stopped, asked many questions about ‘how I do it’, baffled upon, praised, and then set on my way.  When we eat out, people stop by our table to comment on what a loving and wonderful family we are and what great kids I have- and I really do have great kids. They have good upbringing. It’s so uplifting to have a complete stranger recognize what a good parent you are from an interaction you have with them in public.

But last Tuesday, this was shattered.

I am a stay at home mother and photographer of five kids ages 9, 8, 6, 5, and 3 and I am 5 months pregnant with our sixth which is going to be a little girl. She was planned and very much wanted, just as we have wanted all of our blessings.

It is spring vacation- all of the kids are stranded inside because of the nasty Oregon weather. Some brave the backyard mud and bring some of it in with them, as kids do. I unfortunately have a migraine this morning so I haven’t yet had a chance to get to last night’s dish pile which sits in the sink along with breakfast plates.  The house is a bit messy from five kids running around playing two and fro for two days and a night straight.

Their rooms have toys on the floor, blankets about- Gracie  who is 8, has decided to bring in a mealworm she rescued from outside and give it a warm place by her bed along with a bunch of dry oatmeal. Abbie is busily searching for night diapers, lost and hidden from embarassment at still needing them at 9, and putting them in random plastic bags I gave her so that she could go on her Church Ski trip.

All is well in my household and the boys finish their cake I allowed them to eat as Eva Bella, my 3 yr old plays chemist with her spaghetti, chinese noodles and milk she was eating at the table- mixing the three together in each separate plate bowl and cup.

It was around 2:00pm and I look out my back door to see a bunch of heads peering over my backyard fence. I realize they don’t understand it is not my front door, and I open my back door to greet them.

“How can I help you?” I ask noticing the police officer and 2 young adults standing by my gate.
“Hi we’re from CPS and we have recently had a report of a few things concerning your children’s welfare, may we come in?”

This, my friends, is the beginning of an ugly and monsterous friendship. This is where the naive meet the street smart and may the best party win.

We are raised, from an early age, to respect authority. If we are not guilty, why should we be afraid to let them in? We aren’t hiding anything! These are our FRIENDS! Let them in so we can settle this matter, talk about it, and they will see all is well and that I’m a good parent and we will all chuckle, shake hands and go on our merry ways!

But these people are not here to exonerate you. These people are not here on your behalf to prove to themselves that it was a mistake or false accusation.
These people are here to GATHER EVIDENCE against you, in any way shape or form that they see FIT. That means that if they don’t like anything about your environment, they can deem you UNSUITABLE as a parent to care for your children and remove them until they do.

Eva in Timeout 2 days before CPS came

Eva in Timeout 2 days before CPS came

Don’t assume that messy kiddo rooms, plastic bags with trash in the process of cleaning, and random clutter about is not enough to take them.
They can say simple things like a folding chair in your three year old’s room is unacceptable. They can say that keeping a hermit crab in a closed enclosure in your kitchen is Unacceptable. They can say that having a ladder in your hallway you had just used earlier to replace a ceiling light, is unacceptable- and deem the home unsuitable and ‘unsanitary’ for kid’s health.

Where is this list of the ‘unacceptable’? I want to have a copy of this list! What? there is no LIST? SO under what guidelines are you serving?

So as you can probably already tell, they interragated me. The accusations: Dog feces all over the home, kids being left home alone, and hazardous living conditions- all reported from some ‘anonymous’ person who most probably never set one foot in the home. They petted my dog, a 1 yr old Jack Russell Terrier. There was no feces on the floor in the home.

They took 480 pictures of everything from the inside of my fridge and cupbards to my bathrooms and toilettes and even the suite case my daughter dropped at their feet in the hallway while showing them what she packed for her trip.

ME: “Thank you Abigail, please put your suite case away now.”
Officer: “No, don’t worry about picking anything up right now, this is not the time to start cleaning.”
ME: “Excuse me, she just dropped her suite case in front of your feet- I would like her to put it away.”
Officer: “Please go downstairs ma’am.” and proceeded to take pictures of the suitcase blocking his path.

They interviewed them alone separately and made me pull my children’s pants down to show that they were not being beaten after they reported receiving ‘potches’ for very bad behavior.
When asked if I ever left them alone, the kids reported ‘only once to get us toys from target’. This was a misunderstanding we had after we told them we were going to ‘go play in the toy section at Target’ while going outside to get the mail. Our mailbox is in a community lockbox around the corner of our cul-de-sac, and we routinely go check the mail together leaving Abigail in charge of making sure the kids don’t get into trouble as we walk 3 houses down. All they heard was ‘Target and toys’, therefore concluding to themselves we left them home alone to get them toys from Target.

CPS took this seriously, and repeatedly warned me about lying, saying they go by the kids account.

All of this led them to the notion that the house was not deemed healthy for children living and I was told to find temporary housing for them or they would for three nights and four days.

I was FLOORED.

I live in a 5 bedroom upscale home. We pay $2000 a month in rent which is very high in Portland. We have a beautiful new sectional couch, a new table- nice decorations on the wall, and the extremely verbally aggressive officer told me how unacceptable my home was and how ‘ I was argumentative and defensive and not willing to work’ with them, maybe there was another adult in the household he could talk to instead”.

We had the home cleaned in 2 hours. Picked up, sanitary, the works. The said there was no way we could get the home in a suitable condition before Friday which is why they made the kids go.

Right now, it is 1:25am in the morning of Friday. CPS is due to revisit at some point today, in which they did not specify a time. We are at the whim of their notions of what is acceptable, and my husband and I, our friends are all beaten and worn from over-cleaning every nook and cranny of my 2700sf home to make sure there is not one spec of reason we cannot get our kids back.

I worry about what will come today. The house being spotless and painted- new beds and trash cans- everything neat and orderly as if a hotel- child safety locks on things we never had to lock before- I worry about the neglect issue and how we could possibly defend ourselves against the misinterpretations of our children should that be the remaining issue.

I pray RIGHT THIS MOMENT… that the Lord place a healing shield of protection around our family to prevent anything bad happening to us. I worry about any regulations that will be put onto us… and how we can live as a happy family with the lording eye of a broken government above us.- but pray that the CPS workers will be GENUINE people who want to help children, not take them away to place them with strangers over ridiculous accusations.

Please Lord- Save our family on this day….

My feet hurt and creek, even as I move them to stabalize myself. My lower back is swollen with pain from days of scrubbing fingerprints off of endless walls, cleaning stains out of carpets, and folding clothing. My unborn child kicks me- obliviouse to the chaos around her on the outside world. She is safe within me, while my others are so vulnerable to this broken system…. this system that once a long time ago, worked in their mother’s favor, prosecuting a child molester who was but a teenager himself and his own molester.

We are so taught to trust and trust some more.

We are so , so wrong. Laws and rights are there to PROTECT US- yet they are hidden and tucked away so as parents, we are left to assume what people can and cant do to us. We are afraid of seemingly admitting guilt by the mear invoking of those rights so set forth to protect us, and we roll over as they gut us and steal our children from under us.

My dishwasher’s song gives no comfort to me now, and I dread sleep.

[…] am in my first week of falling down Alice’s Rabbit hole in the CPS disaster. Here is my story. Please read it, I will update you later on. We find out today at some time, if we get […]

5 May 2009, 10:49pm
by Jeff and Family


If your house were SPOTLESS I would really think there was something wrong. I mean, having all your kids running around. Toys here. Toys there. Clothes here. Clothes there. Sounds pretty normal to me. In fact, thats a sign of a healthy and happy family.

[…] Here  is my story. Please read it, I will update you later on. We find out today at some time, if we get our kids back. […]

6 May 2009, 6:59pm
by Yelena


DHS(CPS) never even came to my house, never spoke to me, they picked up my son from (10,000$/year)school that i paid for alone with no child support. Only on the basis of my ex husband who hasn’t even seen me around my son at that point for some years. THere was never any evidence to back up any accusations, it was all made up lies..horrible lies. I have not seen or talked to my son for 4 years now, i am very much torn. I have another son who doesn’t even know he has a brother, well he is only 18 months, how could you explain to him that he has a brother that he can’t see. DHS destroyed my family, not only that, my first son is abused in most horrible ways, he is molested by my exhusband who DHS placed him with. When i continually asked them to investigate this, after all my son was bleeding rectally coming back from his son, at 4 years old he was pooping his pants, he molested another boy, he said “Daddy put his pipi in my buttom!!..and it’s not a joke..” Did DHS care??? ohh NO!!! They are not in place to protect the innocent and abused, unfortunately they are only there to make money. I honestly believe that they have been paid off by my exhusband, how otherwise they could do all they did, after i carried this boy under my heart, breastfed him 2 years, worked SO hard to raise him…gave him all my love and they took him like some kind of doll and abusing him. I don’t believe in justice anymore, I am sorry you had to be a victim like me.

6 May 2009, 7:07pm
by Yelena


By the way they refused to investigate this. Doctor that i took him to did NOT even look at his behind, but she wrote negative for molestation. ALso my child did not tell some strage woman in DHS that his daddy does this to him because he was afraid they will take him to jail, since his daddy was molesting him for 1.5 year before he was brainwashing him a lot. One time he came back from his dad and said “police is bad” another time he said “mommy, daddy went to jail but he is home now” i had my attorney check and there was no record, what happened was he was telling him that if he says anything he will go to jail. Later my son understood that he is the one will go to jail, of course he was terrified to talk. I asked DHS for my son to have psychologist/psychiatrist somebody who can help him, I knew he needed help. But they said “you don’t decide, we do..and we think he doesn’t need anything” well.. I spelled rivers of tears since then..My son is still molested and abused in many other ways, DHS did nothing to protect him.

Welcome to the world of child welfare. You have been chosen.

22 Jun 2009, 10:02pm
by rachel waite


my prayors are with you all it takes a lot of pride strength and self confidence to endure the laws of the land. When i lost my children to the system I remember asking after learning the fate of my life well who will i say no stop don’t and leave it alone to and the CPS woker replied pretend as if thier dead and she giggled and smiled and went to say i don’t know i have cats. My oldest child is 16 she has run away three times 1st time for thanksgiving 2007 i explained to her that she was welcomed but it would rules and regulatons and a long fight ahead if she wanted to come back home. after 3 days she agreed to go back to the adoptive mother’s home. she ran away about a month ago and cps came out and didnt request anything and went away how ever my daughter who is adopted they say she is not safe at my home its not enough room but its okay for them to leave my 6,2 and 1 year old in the household what up that then they have the nerve to scream at me in court YOU ARE NOT HER MOTHER excuse me i have a scare up my behind that informs me every day that that little girl is mine and they only convinced me that all documents can be altered imagine looking at your childs birth certificate and seeing a different name and another name in place of yours and the father section says unknown what would you u do im livin ilke you livin and maybe alittle worst who knows i just know it hurts to know its alot of us out here know these laws need to be changed and no one is doing anything about it lets start a looking for a demodrat or national politician that can help us reset the CPS law because change to those motherfxckers is long over due email me some ideas if you believe that a change in the CPS foster care and adoption laws should be revised nationally.

26 Oct 2009, 2:44pm
by Kimberlea Penney


i too have been in the face of the evil dcf dragon. they took my daughter on may 30th 2008 and i gave birth to a healthy baby boy on june 5th2008. they terminated my rights that day. why, because a woman that is not only my fiancee’s mother but a racist said i was not feeding my child and that we were selling my daughter for drugs. i was tested for drugs and nothing, refused visitation with my children and no one would listen to the facts which i submitted. they believed a woman with a background of racial discrimination and involvement with a recently arrested felon. which she was also involved in the case. i cant fnd anyone to take the case and give me some kind of contact with my kids. its always the run around when you tell them you are black and a veteran. I gave proof to the court and they told me to give up making myself look clean. they already knew my type. anyone have advice as to where i could get help for a case in florida even though i live in new england? and why is it that the US desnt ban together and drop one giant lawsuit for the families that have been torn apart by DCF?

i have recently started having dealings with cps myself. my son is a beautiful, blond haired blue eyed five-year old little boy with a charming smile and infectious laughter. unfortunately, his father (my soon to be official ex husband) is a drunken, abusive man that i finally got the nerve to leave two years ago. i found a new man, a decent man that has kept a full time job at the same place the entire time. he rarely drinks. he does the best he can for me and my son. in 2006, his ex-wife was sent to prison for sexually molesting his eldest daughter. cps backed him into a corner and forced him to give up his kids. we live in the same town as his kids. for awhile, my son went to the same school as they did. but he’s not allowed to be around them. well, he made a new life with me and my son, and we started to think that maybe we could get married. then cherokee county cps got involved in our lives because of my ex-husband. they placed my son (officially) with me and closed the case. we moved counties because we were looking into a house we wanted to buy. shortly after we moved, cps got involved because my son wet himself at school. might i remind everyone, HE IS FIVE YEARS OLD!!! that’s bound to happen a time or two. they also said there was a report that he smelled like ammonia. we did, at one point, have a cat. we no longer have skippy john. apparently, you are not allowed to own a pet if you have children. so anyone considering buying your sweet children a pet for christmas or their birthday… better make sure it’s an outside pet.
anyhow, i digress… they decided they wanted to do forensic interviews because they said a child wetting themselves is a sign of sexual molestation. (at five years old???) and they started immediately investigating me and my fiance. i informed them that my fiance had never been alone with my son. they, of course, didn’t believe me. i informed them that my son’s father had admitted to molesting his older (handicapped) sister just before i left him. i also informed them that he had admittedly cheated on me with two men during our relationship. they still did not believe me. a week and a half ago, they caused me to lose my job, and in the same day informed me that me and my son would have to move out of our home, and we were forced to move into a reach shelter. tuesday, they shipped us to asheville for a medical exam, which came back inconclusive (meaning they couldn’t find anything to support or deny allegations of possible sexual abuse). the interviewer said that my son didn’t inform them of anything while we were there, and that they believed that it was partly due to the fact that he had a mother who was “insupportive of the possibility of sexual abuse” and that my son might open up a bit if given a different home for the time. so, on wednesday night, they took my son and i have not seen him since. i feel like i have been betrayed in the worst of ways. they took my baby, for nothing more than their absolute belief that i and my family had done nothing wrong. i don’t know what to do. i want my baby back. is there anything anyone can do to help?

23 Mar 2010, 2:10pm
by Tammy Blevins


My daughter is partly disable just by being a L.P., she has three children that have medical problems. Her son was hurt on the bus by a child and it was reported to the Three Rivers, Michigan police. CPS was called, we found out that the uncle was a police officer and the aunt was a bus driver. Now a social worker is here every month and will be for the next 3 years. Until she moved to St. Joseph Co. she and the father never had a problem. They say because of her own disabilitys that she can’t take care of her children. She has since the oldest was born 9 years ago. The are buying their own home. Were does the state have the right to say that people who have medical problems can’t be good parents.

27 May 2010, 12:24pm
by Lorene Fredrick


My prayers and heart goes out to you. I see my children every other week for one hour and dread continues knowing that in September 2nd,2010 I have a jury trial over cps taking permanent custody of my children. I am an educated christian and still heartbroken..

Im so sorry to hear this. Do you have your story posted anywhere?

my kids were taken bye dyfs for no reason but names.. they found nothing on me or my husband. just hear say from a someone who didnt like there names. its been over 3 years and still fighting some needs to stop them from wrongfully taken kids

 

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