Anxiety…

eva_kitchen_header

This past week has been horrible.

Continuously making sure that the house is in pristine order has taken over my days, my nights, my thoughts and my dreams. I fall asleep only to dream that they are at the door wanting to inspect my home.
Are the kid’s beds made?! Is there laundry in the laundry baskets?! Are there unfinished dishes in the sink?! Is there anything out that can be perceived as a hazard???

Listening to myself- it all sounds remedial in the line of things going on in life. My husband and I watched an investigative undercover documentary the other day of Russian and Ukrainian women sold into sex slavery, some thinking they were going to go pick up items for their mother’s shops- tricked into a foreign country forced to have abortions and give up their bodies or be killed. They have families- husbands, children at home who have no idea where they are.

THIS is reality. But still, everyone has a reality that is just as real to them as your reality is real to you. For one, it may be the worry of an impending job loss… or knowing that their home will be taken from them at any moment from their inability to pay. For another, it might be whether or not their husband will be intoxicated when he gets home and how badly she will be beaten that evening.

For me- I worry endlessly about how far DHS will go to make my life hell, needlessly. I say needlessly, because there is nothing dangerous about a few dishes in the sink, some piles of clothing needing to be washed or comforters pulled off their beds.

I worry about the legal ramifications we might have to face in the future and how this will effect us if anything should happen. What if my husband loses his job and we have to apply for welfare? How will this effect us- will this give CPS free reign to lord over us?

The stress has been too much this week- I was fighting regular contractions during and after bible study last night and I’m thankful I was able to get them under control. Knowing I’m reaching the beginning of my third trimester next week- Im looking forward to finding a new home to move to. This home feels like a physical and emotional jail to me.

I know it could be any day, any minute, any hour that they come and there is a knock on my door. Since I have no peephole- friends and family are greeted with a face drained of blood rather than a grin and welcome arms. I just want this to be over.

 

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

  • sabem: I cannot express to you the sympathy I have for your experiences!I too have had a similar bout with DHS. I...
  • beth hanson: I understand you’re pain I went through a 2 year case from cps in az I lost mmmy two beautyful...
  • sith: my kids were taken bye dyfs for no reason but names.. they found nothing on me or my husband. just hear say...
  • Jane: This story scares me as a new mother. My sister had the brilliant idea to call CPS on me and lie about this and...
  • eddie franklin: I feel and hurt deeply inside for you and your husband.The only way to fight these IDIOTS is to put...

Linkroll


css.php
Skip to toolbar