What you don't know, will hurt your family.

So, I have been gone all weekend in Los Angeles visiting my best friend before I have this baby. Im 23 weeks pregnant so I had a little time to travel.
I got home Sunday night, late, and Monday morning my husband had to leave for Dallas on a business trip. I have been battling a virus all week as it is, and I was bedraggled.

In the afternoon I DID have that tugging feeling inside, but I have that tugging feeling quite often anyway given the situation. It was hot out- 80 degrees here, and the kids were playing in the backyard with the hose. CPS decided to come at 5:00pm and do a walk through. When I opened the door (I dont have a peephole unfortunately) all the blood in my body dropped to my feet because I felt unprepared.

I live in a living, breathing home of 7 people actively utilizing the house at random throughout the day. We dont live in a hotel and I dont follow the kids around all day making sure they turn off every light and pick up every toy the minute they take them out. At the end of the day, when the kids get ready for bed- we play clean up and pick things up.

There were a few dishes in the sink when he came, and the girl’s room was a tad untidy (clothes on the floor and papers they were colors pictures on along with stuffed animals). Eva was sleeping after taking off her wet bathingsuit and passing out on my lap, which must have made them very angry- the fact my 3 yr old was nude asleep on the couch.

He took pictures then said that he felt had it not been for the maid service we had hired twice a month, I probably would have been over my head and that things were accumilating. I can only sit there and stare at him like he’s nuts.
I explained there is an ebb and flow of things in a home of 7 people, but that overall things get taken care of and are sanitary. He said that he would have to report the conditions of the home ‘inconclusive’ as whether or not the home would be a safe place for my children to be, and told me they would be making another visit soon.

It just makes you feel raped over and over. I feel like Im being harassed by the mafia only it’s a government agency. Ive been working myself to the bone now to the point of anxiety and I havent been able to kick this virus Im fighting. The stress feels overwhelming at times as do the nightmares. When is it going to end.

Were desperately looking for a new home and Ive been packing and purging things, only to have panic attacks that they are going to come in the middle of packing. I randomly sit in th emiddle of the floor and cry at times over the minor things they have power to take your kids over. There is no rest and it creates a huge stress on your marriage and your relationship with your kids. You turn into a slave driver, following the kids around forcing them to pick up everything, not allowing them to play with pens or crayons or clay or take things down to play with. I’m a prisoner in my home home.

Tags: CPS, inconclusive, prisoner, visit

Friday afternoon, one agent only came from CPS, instead of 2 and a police officer.

We had 2 maids come help us detail for 4 hours the evening prior who were also shocked at the way we have been treated. The owners of the maid service felt obligated to write CPS a letter stating that our house was not in any condition showing neglect over time, as it usually takes frequent sanitizing efforts to recover a home in that state. They confirmed we were being harassed.

The agent walked through my home taking pictures, this time deciding to take pictures of the garage and my bedroom, also, which he didnt take on the original visit stating it wasn’t a child living area if they didnt go in there. I guess he changed his mind?

I also inquired about exact reasons to remove the home (what specifics made my home inhabitable for the kids) and all he could tell us was that “the clutter proved to be easier cleaned up without the children present”.

Let me warn you, readers, that- what the agent SAYS to you is not in stone. They can say whatever they want and then change their story. The proof is what is on the report and record, and until you get a hold of that, everything is hearsay.

I was also critical over the fact they interviewed my children alone separately and conviently while they were interviewing me downstairs. My girls have both told me it was a lie that we left them home alone on multiple occasions. My daughter has also since, learned a lesson about adults. Prior to this, she believed Adults couldn’t lie.

The kids were given the okay and then we were told that they would be giving us a surprise visit within the next 30-60 days.

This has force injected an anal bug into our bodies now. We can’t relax, feel comfortable or peaceful in our own home and are constantly looking for something we missed to clean.

Im beaten broken and anxiety takes over too often.

Tags: CPS, investigation, return