Hello everyone! I know I havent been on posting much but well, cant neglect those kids you know!
Much has happened since Ive last posted. One, I have actually become close with a gal from my church who is also a CPS officer. She, my friends, is the ‘good guy’. She questions, and is there to help parents who need helping. She has never brought backup or an officer to a home, and believe me she has seen BAD.
She has only had to remove children from really bad neglect issues after many times trying to help rehab the parents and working with them. In the end- it was a better situation for the cases.
Curiously, she had never seen a case like mine before we met. She comes pretty often to my home, brings her kids in, and sees what destruction has happened to me because of my situation. It takes a LOT OF FAITH to consistantly bring in a CPS worker to your home and let down your guard after having your children removed by one only a year prior.
But I feel the Lord is trying to work healing in me. Maybe I can be of benefit to her, too?
She has recently come to some major issues at her work that she is struggling with. A case where the child was removed under wrongful terms and she was threatened in her face to keep quiet. So from here, this is where the seed grows and reform starts. Every good CPS worker needs to take the initiative and stand up for what is right. Mothers and fathers and people who want to see families grow together- not destroyed, need to reach out and help demand CPS reform!
The gross amount of control these people have over our babies is disgusting.
A great site to visit is http://www.reformcpsnow.com/ . There are a lot of great organizations to get invovled in, but we must promote the awareness of the abuse of power from the law enformcement and our government.
I hope you are all doing well and that justice has been done in your lives… I will continue to pray for those of you who have yet to see justice.
Estimates I’ve come across in my research reckon that between one-third and two-thirds of those children currently in foster care nationally should be living with their parents. Furthermore, it has become undeniable that despite many saintly foster parents the government makes a poor parent. The research shows unequivocally that CPS should be loathe to remove kids from their homes because, in most cases, there is nowhere better to put them. As a result, the state is stuck between a rock and a hard place: remove children from marginal parents, causing well documented, irrevocable emotional damage (not to mention the physical and sexual abuse that occurs more frequently in foster care), or leave these children with parents who, arguably, should never have had kids in the first place– the “lesser of two evils” if you will. Enter the “Safety Model.”
Cases In The News: Babysitting CPS day care DHS help neighbors
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By JAMES PRICHARD, Associated Press Writer James Prichard, Associated Press Writer – Tue Sep 29, 7:23 pm ET
IRVING TOWNSHIP, Mich. – Each day before the school bus comes to pick up the neighborhood’s children, Lisa Snyder did a favor for three of her fellow moms, welcoming their children into her home for about an hour before they left for school.
Regulators who oversee child care, however, don’t see it as charity. Days after the start of the new school year, Snyder received a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continued, she’d be violating a law aimed at the operators of unlicensed day care centers.
You wake up in the morning to the sound of birds. Zipping open your door you greet your neighbor, a figure climbing out of their front door- their tent.
This is what a few families have been forced to do for a living, tents in the wilderness complete with pantry and Port-a-potty. But included in this community are two little kids, ages 7 and 5. How long will it be before CPS walks up to their camp prepared to remove the children because they do not conform to what society feels is ‘proper living’? I will say that with the cold front that moved in today, I would be concerned over the warmth but the issue here is where government power starts and our own personal rights end.
I’m very critical over news stations not only revealing information that could bring harm to people like this, but also legal action. These people have no where else to go, and now they will probably get a visit from local law enforcement removing their children, their disability checks and food stamps will be denied because they are breaking the rules by sharing.
Our last visit from CPS was late July a few weeks before I was due. They actually knocked on my door a minute after my mom came through it with a cake for Danny’s birthday party to do a walk through. Seeing my mom was there and gusts, I got a chummy, “I see you havent had the baby yet? Oh! I’m sorry I see that you have a birthday party going on, I’ll be quick…” Excuse me if I missed the sincerity and dissapointed you.
I still hold to my thoughts that they were trying to guestimate about when I was due so they could surprise me during the first week of newborn-dom.
He did his walk through and then stated they were waiting for the kids pediatrician to get back to them and that the case was still undetermined. This has been the wildcard term they have used.
“The case is undertermined whether or not abuse and neglect is eminent…”
It’s like, what more can I give you? They require ridiculous shows of determination as a parent to PROVE Im worthy… shouldn’t they go on who you are naturally? Not by how high and far you can jump?
He said they were trying to close out the case by the end of the month and that if we dont hear from them it’s a ‘good thing’ (What? You think it’s a good thing to leave parents hanging on whether or not you are going to proceed to try and tear their family apart?). He also said that his manager was particularly picky and that if there is anything else she comes up with we would be getting a visit from them. Nice. More anal retentive OCD CPS agents- but this explains a lot, too.
He left waving, and I was left with thoughts of CPS agents showing up in my birthing postpartum room to take away my newborn. Friends scoff at me as if… “Come on Jyn, they wouldn’t do that, they couldnt do THAT…” but as many of you know, they do and they can.
Why? Who knows. In all honesty, who really KNOWS what brainwashing they have had done to them thinking they are saving the country of bad parenting because- government knows best how to raise our children right?
I received a letter last week (mid September) stating that they closed our case. What really got my goat was how they worded it. “We are required by law to investigate any claims of abuse and although we saw signs of potential abuse and neglect we did not have enough evidence to prove that abuse and neglect was indeed occuring…”
Give me a break. If it wasn’t enough that they put me through half a year of HELL but they have to try and hold their own composure by wording it as if I was indeed guilty but that they were unable to build their case enough to follow through.
I’m still left scarred…. I have nightmares about my doorbell ringing and seeing his face still.
Also, Things couldn’t have happened at a better time. My washing machine is on it’s last legs and the laundry is piling up. Since it is managed via a computer inside, it gives me a fail error multiple times during loads. It takes a few hours just toget one load washed sometimes with the need to micromanage the cycles and finness it sometimes into another cycle mode just to unlock.
Of course everything is IN A HAMPER, it’s just overflowing now with a family of 8. I was just waiting for CPS to come and tell me how unacceptable the laundryroom was and how it was a danger to my kid’s lives.
Cases In The News Stories Thoughts: children CPS deemed safe father florida Mesac Damas murdered family practices regulations
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This story that has recently hit the news headlines of a father who killed his wife and five kids is evidence that CPS is broken. It’s not that CPS didn’t do enough, or that they did too much to cause this father to kill his family.
The situation is that even a well-meaning organization cannot be EFFECTIVE just because guidelines are put in place. There is no REAL way to protect our kids through the current guidelines and practices of CPS .
A normal surprise visit case should be the family with some dishes in the sink, with laundry that needs to be done and happy kids who maybe have a smudge of dirt on their face and dirty knees on their pants.
In all honesty, a family of 7 that is perfectly trimmed, neat, clean shows something is out of place and needs to be investigated. Cleanliness is NOT next to Godliness in the situation of dangers to a family.
Removing children because a family does not appear pristine is a farse.
Cases In The News Stories: bad parenting CPS images innocent pictures privacy sued Walmart
Couple Sues Wal-Mart for Calling Cops Over Bath Time Photos
Children Were Taken Into Protective Custody Over Pictures Taken at Bath Time
PEORIA, Ariz., Sept. 20, 2009
For Lisa Demaree and her husband A.J., it was the hardest time of their lives. It all began a year ago, when the Demarees dropped off some digital photos to be printed at their local Wal-Mart in Peoria, Ariz.
“It was a nightmare, it was unbelievable. I was in so much disbelief. I started to hyperventilate. I tried to breathe it out,” Lisa Demaree said, struggling through tears.
Among the batch of 144 family photos, the developer spotted eight photos that shocked her and she turned them over to police.
According to the police report, photos were of the children in provocative positions, with their genitals exposed.
“Some of the photos are bath time photos,” Lisa said, “but there are a few after the bath. Three of the girls are naked, laying on a towel with their arms around each other, and we thought it was so cute.”
Investigators went to the Demaree home to question them and search their residence.
A.J. Demaree said he could understand why the police were there, but he said the pictures were innocuous snapshots of his kids goofing around, and some of them involved the children being naked.
ABC News was able to obtain access to four of the photos. There are still nine other photographs which were not released because the Demarees’ lawyer said that the photos were intended for private home use and showing them to outside parties would violate the law for distribution of child pornography.
“We have told our girls that they have freedom to be in their home and feel OK about their bodies and their nudity, but that there is a time and a place for it,” Lisa said…. (read more)
Post Visit: clean diningroom house images kitchen livingroom pictures table
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Well, here is the downstairs recently. I’m due in 5 weeks so it’s getting down to the wire.
We havent heard from CPS since June, where they said that their case was inconclusive whether or not our home was a detriment to the safety of the kids.
We looked for a new home for a while but things werent panning out, so we’re staying. It’s still nerve wrecking because- Im sure theyre waiting for me to have the baby first before visiting. They have VERY LITTLE to prosecute and take my kids over, so if anything would provide any material- a new baby would be one.
I even had a new visitor recently and got to hold her 6 week old baby. I look forward to the day I can feel more comfortable in my own home having people over and not having to jump everytime the doorbell rings or someone knocks.
Remind me I need to install a peephole too…
Stories: bad parenting CPS homebirth hospital mentality
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Here is a story from a wonderful family who decided to have a homebirth. When the mother’s placenta didn’t come out right away, and they went to the hospital, they were treated horribly.
Issues like this are prevelant, even leading to social calls of neglect.
Our Happy Homebirth Ended in a Horrid Hospital Visit
November 02, 2007 by Heather B.
Thankfully We Weren’t There Long & All Came Home Ok!
After our beautiful unassisted homebirth, we waited several hours for the placenta to come, but it did not. After six hours, we cut the baby’s umbilical cord and started getting ready to go to the hospital. I called ahead to inquire about their procedures for retained placenta. I stated a desire to try minimally-invasive techniques before D&C and not to be admitted. The nurse was optimistic and said that usually a D&C is unnecessary, but if I did need one, it would be quick. The doctor’s response was more pessimistic–that I’d have to let him do whatever was necessary to get it out even if that meant wheeling me into the ER.
I was worried about going to the hospital. I had heard of hospital staff treating women very cruelly after homebirths that went awry. I had also heard of people reporting parents to CPS for having unassisted homebirths. I didn’t know what to expect. We even considered not bringing the baby along, but ultimately decided it would be best to let them see for themselves how healthy he was. I was hoping for the best but still terrified of the worse. Our experience was somewhere in between that. Had I told the whole truth, I fear it would have been even less pleasant. READ MORE…
This past week has been horrible.
Continuously making sure that the house is in pristine order has taken over my days, my nights, my thoughts and my dreams. I fall asleep only to dream that they are at the door wanting to inspect my home.
Are the kid’s beds made?! Is there laundry in the laundry baskets?! Are there unfinished dishes in the sink?! Is there anything out that can be perceived as a hazard???
Listening to myself- it all sounds remedial in the line of things going on in life. My husband and I watched an investigative undercover documentary the other day of Russian and Ukrainian women sold into sex slavery, some thinking they were going to go pick up items for their mother’s shops- tricked into a foreign country forced to have abortions and give up their bodies or be killed. They have families- husbands, children at home who have no idea where they are.
THIS is reality. But still, everyone has a reality that is just as real to them as your reality is real to you. For one, it may be the worry of an impending job loss… or knowing that their home will be taken from them at any moment from their inability to pay. For another, it might be whether or not their husband will be intoxicated when he gets home and how badly she will be beaten that evening.
For me- I worry endlessly about how far DHS will go to make my life hell, needlessly. I say needlessly, because there is nothing dangerous about a few dishes in the sink, some piles of clothing needing to be washed or comforters pulled off their beds.
I worry about the legal ramifications we might have to face in the future and how this will effect us if anything should happen. What if my husband loses his job and we have to apply for welfare? How will this effect us- will this give CPS free reign to lord over us?
The stress has been too much this week- I was fighting regular contractions during and after bible study last night and I’m thankful I was able to get them under control. Knowing I’m reaching the beginning of my third trimester next week- Im looking forward to finding a new home to move to. This home feels like a physical and emotional jail to me.
I know it could be any day, any minute, any hour that they come and there is a knock on my door. Since I have no peephole- friends and family are greeted with a face drained of blood rather than a grin and welcome arms. I just want this to be over.