Hello everyone, my name is Kelsey I’m 21 years old.
Lets start by getting some history on me. I met my husband when I was 15 years old he was 20. He lived in Texas and was in the military I lived in Minnesota. When I was 17 he came and visited me for the first time ever our whole relationship was online.
When I was 17 we started talking about me moving to Texas and marrying him. And I did I droppd out of hgh school and moved to Texas. Almost istantanously I got pregnant, I got pregnant just days before I turned 18. We got married almost right after I found out I was expecting. Pretty much my whole pregnancy we lived in Texas and at the very end he got out of the military and we moved back to Minnesota.
I had my baby Feburary 18th, 2008 a little boy. At first I was a good mom I tryied to do everything right with my child. But the baby was really colicky and all he did was cry and cry and cry. I had no one to hep me or to support me through the long stressfull mornings of being up for 72 hours straight. Yeah sure I was married but all my husband did was ignore the fact I was stressing all he did was sleep eat and work. He was almost blinde the what was happening.
At the very young age of my son he was 2 months old when the abuse started. I would get so angry and stressed out I would hit him among other stuff. There were times that I did leave marks on my child and I would lie and make excusses as to how the marks got on him. I was really mean to him.
Then in September 2008 I got pregnant again and at first my husband and I were going to abort but we changed our minds. I wanted to abort because of how I was with my son how abusive I was to him. I didn’t want to put another child through that. But I ended up having another little boy May 26th, 2009.
My second son was really easy never cried I never hit him like I did my oldest I think it might have been that I favoried my youngest over my youngest. Again I had no oneto turn to for help I was with these kids 24/7 never ever had a break. I got so stressed out I took it out on my kids. There is one morning I will never be able to forgive myself ever and I mean ever.
My oldest child was being very naughty getting into everything and whinning and crying and he would not stop. I almost killed him that day I took him by the neck and I strangled him. He looked up at me and said BYE and went completely limpl. I will never forgive myself. I was then I realized I needed help so I picked up my family and moved to Arizona (which is where we live now) cause I needed help from my mom and she lived in Arizona.
So we moved to Arizona and that is when I let all the abuse come out of the closet I told everything to my mom and my husband. We all descided the best thing for my kids were to have my mom have them untill I got better and got help. Well I got CPS involved all by myself I wanted there help they got involved June 18th, 2010. My mom has physical custody of my kids right now CPS has legal custody of them. My husband and I are getting the help we need. It been almost a year since I gave my babies away. I love my babies to death and never want to hurt them agin. I did what I thought was best for them I didn’t want to hurt them anymore. I didn’t want them to be afraid of there momma.
So I reached out for help, if I would have known what I know now. I wouldn’t have gotten CPS involved. They treate me like sh*t, I am the one that reached out to them and they have been horrible. My CPS worker was ordered by court to do things that has yet to be done. She doesn’t ever answer my calls she never returns them and she disrespects me all the time. I work with a parent aide and my CPS worker wont even call the parent aide, or my mom (my mom is now a foster mother). I have another court date coming up here in July 2011. My mom is whole other problem all in its self.
I just wish my CPS worker would do her part cause I am doing mine, but me doing my part don’t matter if my CPS worker isn’t doing hers. My last court date was December 2010 and my CPS worker was ordered to do multiple things by court she has yet to do. All in all, I think CPS is holding be back 100% from getting my kids back. I don’t believe my worker is doing the best she can I don’t believe she is being fair to me or even showing my the time of day.
Thanks for reading