Psych evals – a dirty trick

I know this sounds paranoid, but trust me on this: the mandatory psych evaluations they make you get when they take your kids are for their benefit, not yours.  They don’t have a pool of psychologists/psychiatrists to pull from.  Usually they have very specific people, not licensed to practice in the state you’re in, who they pull in to do these evaluations.  They will make it as inconvenient as possible on the parents, last minute appointments, late night evals, and of course, you’re going to be stressed.  You’re going to be sad, after all, they took your kids.  And they will exploit that.

They will take the tiny, seemingly insignificant things you say and twist them into some kind of horrible psychosis.  If you have ever, EVER felt depressed, that becomes “a history of depression”.  If you have ever lost your temper, you’ve got “serious anger issues”.

If you or your lawyer can manage it, get someone local.  Make it clear to CPS/DHS/DSS that you’re willing to get your eval done, but you want it to be done by an unrelated 3rd party, local doctor.  They won’t like it, but they can’t refuse it.  Make sure the judge is aware that you’re not refusing to do this, you just want to have a completely unbiased doctor.  If they stand firm with the CPS eq. in your area (and they often will), find a doctor with your lawyer’s help and get a secondary eval done.  Make sure it’s someone accredited to work in the state you’re in.  Make sure the doctor is completely aware of the situation, including the fact that you’re under an abnormal amount of stress, and you’re missing your children, but you’re not clinically depressed, there is no underlying cause of this, it’s clear, it’s plain as day.

I’m telling you this from my own experience.  Where I had a psych eval done by a complete hack who was working illegally for DYFS in New Jersey, fudging results to help keep up the “bottom line” funding of the division.  I made the mistake of mentioning that I had been on anti-depressants when I was a young teen (which meant, my family didn’t know how to deal with me rebelling against them, so they sent me to a doctor who was a glorified RX dispenser).  Somehow that, coupled with the ridiculous hours we were evaluated at (between 10PM and 1AM), the stress of having my older children ripped from my arms, the strain of my pregnancy at the time.. I was listed as a danger to my children.

I have never harmed my children in their entire lives, nor would I.  I have never physically neglected or abused them, nor have I mentally, emotionally.. in any other way.  I was miserable because they took my kids, and this quack diagnosed me as a danger to them.

I won’t get into the previous case, but this is one thing everyone needs to know: once you’re in the system, even if it’s due to a false allegation, you will never completely be out of the system.  And they will watch you for a slight misstep.  One toe over the line and they’ll screw you again and again, even if you still haven’t done anything wrong.  All it takes is a phone call from a vindictive neighbor, a former friend, a supposedly concerned person who has completely misconstrued a situation (not in my case, but I know people that has happened to)..

No matter what, don’t give up.  Your kids need you, and you need them.  Fight for them.  Don’t give in, don’t give up and whatever it takes, get your kids back (legally, of course).  You may feel like giving up, like the whole world is against you.  Take a deep breath and remember you have an infinite amount of strength within you.  It’s hard to believe that when you’re feeling your lowest, but I promise, you can do it.  If I can, you can.  I remind myself of that every single day.  I am strong.  And I have to stay strong for my kids.  To get them back where they belong, back with myself and my husband.  We’re not just their biological parents, we are their ONLY parents.

Good luck everyone, I hope we all get a happy ending.

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