Visitation

June 27th, 2009

We were assured last Friday (6/19) that we would have regular, frequent visits with our kids. No more than a week apart.

It’s now Saturday (6/27). I haven’t seen my kids since that Friday. My baby is FIVE MONTHS OLD TODAY and I couldn’t even look into Booger’s big eyes and say “I love you! I can’t believe you’re 5 months old! Look how big you’re getting!” or any of the other billions of things flooding my mind lately. I haven’t seen my Princess, my beautiful 7 year old, full of laughter and silliness, who is sensitive and sweet, but has a short temper and doesn’t react well to negative situations (like this). I haven’t seen my monkey, full of life and all the silliness that being 4 offers, Monkey is going to be 5 July 3rd. And who even knows if we can celebrate that occasion.

Our SW has been MIA. She claimed to have been sick all last weekend, and hey, OK that happens. My husband managed to actually catch her in her office and she seemed flippant, dismissave. All we’re trying to do is see our kids, dammit. I’m sorry that we’re inconveniencing you by expecting you to do your job. Our kids are more important to us than your health. We’ve never met, we’re not friends, and your personal, off-hours life isn’t our problem. Seeing our children IS our problem. And I get that you, like everyone else doing your exact job has a heavy case load. But it’s not fair to us, and especially not fair to our children to do this. Just scedule a visit. We’d do it ourselves if we were legally allowed. We were given the caregiver’s (I refuse to use the term “foster parent” any more than I have to) number. But We’re trying like hell to cooperate with the court.

It’s bad enough this entire case is based on lies and BS, but now our kids, innocent bistanders in all of this, get to suffer. And who will get the blame for that? Not DSS/CPS. Not the corrupt judge. US. Even though we are busting our butts trying to make things right, to get our children home where they BELONG. Where they’ve always belonged. It doesn’t matter, Mommy & Daddy are bad people, right? Because.. we didn’t abuse our kids. We didn’t neglect our kids. We don’t drink, we don’t do drugs, we don’t commit crimes, we don’t commit leud acts.. we haven’t done anything wrong. But we’re going to be seen as the bad guys. I just bet they’ll spin this to make it look like we can’t be bothered to see our children.

I am battling depression over not having my children here. I am fighting tears constantly not being able to hug them, to kiss them, to laugh with them, to talk with them, to just hold them. I am their mother and that’s all I’ve been since the moment Princess was born, and that’s all I will continue to be. My husband has been putting on a strong front, but I know him, he’s crumbling inside. Those kids are his everything. He’s almost killed the batteries of his phone calling the SW trying like hell to get in touch with her. WE WANT OUR KIDS. If we have to wait until July 24th to get them back, we’ll do that. We’re not going to break the law here. But dammit, do not deny us our rights to see our children. Don’t deny me my frakkin right to hold my baby.

CPS: causing emotional trauma to innocent children and innocent parents since the 1970s.