I’m sorry I didn’t call back yesterday as I said I would, truthfully I sat at the beach and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. Through this entire experience, I lost a Mother, my two boys, and the relationship that I used to have with Steve, nothing in my life has been the same. I can’t have another child because of my RH factor, unfortunately my body developed an antigen which will attack a fetus and cause it to be born anemic and likely with underdeveloped organs. So you are raising the only child I will ever have had and I expect you to do an exceptional job, because anything short, in my opinion, makes you a failure. That includes keeping him safe, which sounds like you had a hard time doing when Matthew was in the home. Head trauma can last well into adult hood and have effects later on in life, even the most minor ones.
I hope you read this and take it for what it is, you and Bob took my life in one single instant, not only mine but Steve’s as well. I hate you for the things you have done to us, all of us, and you should hate yourself as well. Your family is no better than mine, and when I called yesterday the first thing you did was start in on me and my family. Steve has stuck by my side since I was 19 years old. He has loved me, provided for me and he was an exceptional father, one who was never away from his children for 18 months. How dare you judge my life when you should examine your own, you have no idea the pain and internal struggle I have gone through since you left my dad. Honestly you turned into someone that is useless and miserable. I don’t think you even know who you are anymore.
You tried to tell me that certain things weren’t done by you and Bob and that you contained police reports which stated one thing and to my recollection, these reports did not. I pulled down five volumes of certified court transcripts, which included the reports we spoke about yesterday. I was correct when I told you the police reports, in fact, found our children to be safe in our home. It was Judge Guy who stated the police officers “didn’t know what they were talking about” and had them removed from our care. Further, it was my stupidity to sign a submittal form, only after my attorney lied to me and tricked me, into believing that my signature would allow the boys to come home the quickest. Just so were clear I had one, single, positive test throughout my entire case plan, and that was on the first day the officers arrived to our apartment. That’s it, one, and I completed everything else expected out of me. I plan on making you copies and mailing them to you, what you do with them is up to you. If you do, in fact, choose to keep them and read them, I hope you are capable of understanding your part and the influence of your lies throughout our process.
Finally, you and Bob have not, at all, created a better home or environment than Steve and I gave, in fact you tossed Matthew aside, gave up on him. Yes, he had problems but look at his past, you only made it harder for him by pretending to care just to have Aaron. You were addicted to pain medication in just the same sense that Steve and I were addicted to our drug. Bob goes to prison for grand theft, while Steve goes to jail only when you guys stuck your noses into our home life. You have no right speaking to me the way you did yesterday, and somewhere deep down you know that. I will never be greatful you have our son, never, and if he is happy, as you claim he is, then for that I am proud.
I don’t, in any way wish to re-establish a relationship with you, because yesterday you showed me, once again, that you will not accept me for the woman I have become. HOWEVER, I truly wish you would understand, that I would show you an unconditional amount of respect if you and Bob choose to allow me to communicate with Aaron, at some point in his life. I would never speak against you guys because it would make his life to confusing and I don’t want that for him. I want him to be a respectful, happy, and successful man someday, and I wish you would see that. I love him so much and everyday I cry, the pain never eases, nor does it go away over time. I don’t know if you have ever hurt as much as this situation has made me hurt, but I don’t wish it on anyone.
If you decide to consider allowing me to talk with him, even by phone, I would be beyond greatful. As I said before, I will never go against your authority as a parent nor the values you are trying to teach him. I doubt you will believe this, but it’s true, and I am willing to participate in any parenting related classes you request, if it meant you would allow me to speak with him.
Thank you for your time,