Missing My Babies

My Well since I was last on here a lot has happened. I didn’t get to write about what was going as often as I wanted to. I have been to court and my children were returned to me. The judge asked if cps had any concerns and they had to dig for something so they ordered that i give the father visitation ( I don’t know why he didn’t visit our child when he was in the system or before that and hasn’t asked to visit since he’s been out of foster care.) I completed everything that they asked of me on the case plan which was not easy. I am sooo happy to have them home with me. I went through a very bad depression after they were taken. Who wouldn’t. I didn’t let social services know it though. This still isn’t over yet though. That’s why I’m vague on details and such. I just don’t know what they will use and I do not want to jeprodize anything. My oldest is happy to be with me. And the baby well he has seperation anxiety now he doesn’t want me out of his site. They have been home for just over a month now. I still have another court date coming and I just want all this to be over.

Hi, well my kids are still in the system.I missed my oldests birthday.I made the most of it by taking her  a cake and presents and having a couple of close people and my sister there.My daughter broke down because she wanted to  go home with me, It was heartbreaking but by the end of the visit she was ok.I have been pushing still for my home vistis or extended visits but they say they are not necessary.I am making every effort to make it happen though.I have been completley compliant though this is costing me so much..I am halfway through one class, the other should start next month and the other is over a thousand dollars. I am taking up house cleaning and anything else I can do to pay for the three classes I have to take. One thing is I am tired of not being heard.I call them and they don’t call back.I go to the office and they tell me the worker and superviser aren’t in, then I see them there.  They call this family reunification.   I am about to cry right now.It will be three months on saturday that I have been without my kids. I need prayers that’s for sure.

This seems to be the perfect place to share my story as it plays out.On April 11, 2009 my children were removed from from my care.An officer decided was UI.I had only one of my children with me after searching my vehicle she realized I had two children…She then told me my children did not need me as a mother and was going to make sure that they were removed. I asked her if  I could call someone she said  ” No I think i’ll let the state decide”.I was arrested.I had never been arrested or in trouble before.My son was taken from me.I was forced to sit in a patrol car while they poked at my child.Assuming his strawberry birthmarks were something else.She refused to hear me.They were birth marks not bruises or something. They later picked up my other child…from my house.I refused to be booked without a phone call.I waited 15 hours for that call.I never got to make a call. Instead I recieved a call at the county jai l from social services.They told me my children had been placed in foster care asked me questions.That was that.I spent seven days in jail.They never proved I was UI.They never tested me.I took the deal the public defender offered because I couldn’t afford an attorney and didn’t know what else to do .I Still don’ t have my kids.They were removed from  my custody on May 11, 2009.I am now fighting to get them back.I have been a single parent from the day they were born.I have no family willing to take them both.There is more to this story than this but I will start from here.It Is now fathers day June 21, 2009.I have been compliant in all requests with the agency and they still do not want to return my children.They tell me possibly in November.I see my children two hours a week.Two hours out of 168 hours in a week.My daughter cry’s herself to sleep every night.Draws pictures of her crying.All she wants is to be with her mama..My son who constantly laughed and played is distant.He was 7mo when they took him and nearing 11mo now.I have done and will always do everything for my kids.All i want is my babies back.