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Garden City PD Harasses MM Mom

April 21, 2015 in CPS, drugs, foster care

Have you been following the most recent, asinine debacle of the state? The state of Kansas, has taken an 11 year old from his mom, because she advocates medical marijuana, because she’s sick.  Where do you the child will be better off, with his sick mother or with strangers?  Hello?  Have you ever been to foster care?

English: Discount Medical Marijuana cannabis s...

English: Discount Medical Marijuana cannabis shop at 970 Lincoln Street, Denver, Colorado. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Police Say Kidnapping Medical Marijuana Activist’s 11-Year-Old Son Is for ‘the Child’s Well-Being’

The Garden City Police Department, which conducted the search of Banda’s home, insists that the state-sanctioned kidnapping is in the boy’s best interest. “The most important thing here is the child’s well-being,” said Capt. Randy Ralston. “That is why it is a priority for us, just because of the danger to the child.”

What planet are they living on? My aunt died from Crohn’s disease, people die of it every year.  Marijuana saved my life. Fortunately, I don’t live Kansas, I lived in one of the states that has medical marijuana laws in place.

Banda has not been formally accused of any crimes yet. Ralston says the charges could include possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, misdemeanor or felony possession of drug paraphernalia, and child endangerment. Making cannabis oil also seems to qualify as manufacturing a controlled substance, a “drug severity level 1 felony” punishable by a prison sentence as long as 17 years.

Please help speak out about this injustice.

 

Wow, I’ve totally been there. The state should not attack a family because someone is sick. She’s got enough on her plate.

You can read about Shona, her son, what happened and how you can help.  We must speak up.  Unite our votes and speak loud and clear.  We must demand to be able to treat ourselves when we are sick. She has lost her son, because she uses cannabis.

Shona Banda’s Legal Defense

This story could have been me. I was in bed for over a year, when I decided the pills the doctors were giving me were killing me. I threw them away, started smoking weed, seeing my Chiropractor and I started walking, very slowly to start. My life has changed because I took my health in my hands and I decided to smoke weed.  It’s a beautiful thing to get your life back, don’t let the state ruin that.  Return her child!

Read more about Shona Banda.

Rally to Support Shona Banda

Foster Child Speaks Out

March 31, 2014 in Child Protective Services, corruption, foster care

help3_ezrI’m a former foster child. I had suffered abuse at home with my step dad. I stood up to my abuser and asked for the help of child protective services. He confessed and was convicted for his crime and I was placed in foster care. Even though my step dad was the criminal he was released years before I was. Foster care had become such an abusive prison for me I finally ran away, homeless out on the streets, to young to work and no where to go.

Not only do I have physical scars from the abuse I received in foster care but some days I still cry from the type of mental maltreatment I received at the hands of my supposed protectors. I’d come a long way since foster care. I had worked full time and went to school at night to finish high school and continue further in my education to become a surgical dental assistant. Later, I changed my career path and began working for scholastic books. I refused to allow CPS, my therapist, and the foster parents opinions to control who I would become or to limit my future. (I was lucky to be stubborn and rebellious.)

Here recently I’ve had a great opportunity to become connected with other former foster children, and we each share our stories with each other and give each other support. But I started to notice something. The opinions and ordeals each former foster child had faced in foster care, seemed to echo the same opinion or same unacceptable situation when thrown into foster care. For example:

An ex foster child said something recently that had caught my attention. She said, “One thing that bothers me is society says parents who use drugs, abuse their kids, neglects them, and many more things, aren’t good enough to be parents and forcefully removes the children. This very same society looks the other way when we’re abused in foster care, moved several times, remain in limbo for years without any stability.

Kids in jail

We go years if not forever, waiting to be adopted by these people, but they go overseas to adopt. We get dumped out on the street and left to survive like animals when we age out of the system with absolutely nothing. Society doesn’t care what happens after we leave our unfit parents. When in some cases the unfit parents are 100% better than the numerous foster homes who have been checked out by the state and approved. Just because we leave our unfit parents doesn’t mean we live happily ever after.”

Here are some numbers found on Wikipedia that support this former foster child’s statement.

Maltreatment per 100,000 US children.

CPS    Parents

Physical Abuse           160          59
Sexual Abuse              112          13
Neglect                          410       241
Medical Neglect             14          12
Fatalities                           6.4        1.5

I’ve also had an ex foster child contact me wondering why foster kids are treated so badly and no one pays attention. His reasoning, his temporary foster parent had run him over with her truck. He was pronounced dead but then had finally been revived. He sued the state for this and somehow only ended up with $40 thousand dollars and mass long term pain (his court appointed lawyer received the bulk of the money) and he also has many bills from the doctors, him and his bio mother are obligated to pay. ( I can understand his frustrations.)

I’ve been reading many ex foster kids stories (including having my own) and what I find is more atrocities after they were removed then what they experience at home. I can not help but wonder why this agency has made such great leaps and bounds on how to manipulate, maneuver through the law, and perfect how to remove children but they themselves have no idea how to raise children. They have spent millions upon million each year for over 30 or 40 years on these state run agencies yet in general all they have produced is abused and neglected children who go on to struggle in society.

Look at these statistics copied from children’s rights.org

  • 12-30 percent struggled with homelessness
  • 40-63 percent did not complete high school
  • 25-55 percent were unemployed; those employed had average earnings below the poverty level, and only 38 percent of those employed were still working after one year
  • 30-62 percent had trouble accessing health care due to inadequate finances or lack of insurance
  • 32-40 percent were forced to rely on some form of public assistance and 50 percent experienced extreme financial hardship
  • 31-42 percent had been arrested
  • 18-26 percent were incarcerated
  • 40-60 percent of the young women were pregnant within 12-18 months of leaving foster care.

Nancy Schaefer already further summarized all of this as, “The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect in 1998 reported that six times as many children died in foster care than in the general public and that once removed to official “safety”, these children are far more likely to suffer abuse, including sexual molestation, than in the general population. Think what that number is today ten years later!”

Senator Nancy Schaefer reported, “that poor parents very often are targeted to lose their children because they do not have the where-with-all to hire lawyers and fight the system. Being poor does not mean you are not a good parent or that you do not love your child, or that your child should be removed and placed with strangers; that all parents are capable of making mistakes and that making a mistake does not mean your children are to be removed from the home. Even if the home is not perfect, it is home; and that’s where a child is the safest and where he or she wants to be, with family;

I’ve also read countless ex foster children’s stories of how they had been medicated for one thing after another and even witnessed an adopted child so overly medicated, he could not control himself. Thankfully after talking to his adoptive parents they agreed to slowly back him off of the 10 medications he was on. (He spent a lot of time in my home during this time) he has calmed down greatly and has now been able to focus and excel in school.

Some ex foster kids talk about the long term effects these medications have caused them, long after they have finally gotten off of the drugs. Some must continue taking different types of meds to help them deal with the after effects of the medications forced upon them in foster care, (all under the guise of being in their best interest).

Here’s one former foster child’s statement of what she had been through and how the medications affected her.

“I was living in Maryville, Tennessee and was 14 years old. I was depressed but I was a really quiet kid and a laid back type. These folks decided to start me on meds for my depression (a little red pill that I don’t know what it was) shortly after, I noticed I was feeling anxious and nervous. Then I noticed that I started having a short fuse when it came to my temper and it was more difficult to calm down. I told the group home owner this, but she wouldn’t have me taken off the meds.

I started spitting the meds into a paper Dixie cup they would give me water in to take my medications and crush the cup so no one saw. I started to feel normal again, I did that for a month before I was ratted out by another kid. Any way they took me to a doctor that put me on Paxil. The night they gave me that stuff, I was wired for sound and tried to play sumo wrestling with my roommate Donelle. The medication made me constipated and I felt overly psycho, again, no one would listen to me asking to be taken off the meds.

I also noticed I had more issues than usual on concentrating on my school work and I started being mean to others, really mean, as in hitting folks and yelling, it was like I was losing control. I found myself withdrawing because of it and crying my eyes out at every turn. That’s the same year I started having panic episodes. One day decided to ditch school and just go walking… I was told that I cussed out all of the group home staff but I do not remember it… Eric blankenship could tell you a lot about that. I was picked up by the police and taken back to the group home but then I was moved to a teen psych ward.

There at the psych ward they gave me a higher dose of Paxil and added Milloril to my meds and some pill they were telling me was a vitamin but I’m sure it was a tranquilizer because not long after taking it, I could barely hold my head up.

This went on for a month solid until a caseworker (a man) showed up to take me to my next placement. I was on those meds from foster home to foster home then one day I was taken to an all girl group home in Knoxville, Tennessee where shortly after I was abruptly changed from the Paxil and Millorill, to Prozac and Trazedone. The first time they gave me the Prozac, I was 15 years old and was being given 3 Prozac a day and my head always felt like I had a chunk of lead tied to it. Schooling was hard because it was a new place and I felt crazy out of my head. I hated everyone and everything.

I felt as if my mind was working overtime and I was suicidal because i could not calm down and in that same place I was fondled by one of the men staff workers when we went on a trip to the University of Tennessee Race Track. I would scream in the night in my sleep and I would be so nervous every day. I got defiant with the staff and would cuss this one lady in particular named Deiadra. She was a reasonably nice person but I got to where nothing mattered.

Till this very day, I am a nervous type person and I still have the panic episodes that started as a teenager, I have a very hard time coming down from any emotion whether it be anger, anxiety, joy, depression, fear, etc. I know it was because of the meds because prior to the meds, I was able to keep my emotions in check. I’m angry that this has to be this way, with me but this crap has forever changed me, along with all the being passed around like a dooby. It, all has an effect on me that, will never be normal again. I still consider myself a glitch ”

For more Facts About Aging Out visit: Children’s Rights.

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NV: Adoption Gone Wrong!

July 1, 2013 in Adoption, Child Protective Services, corruption, foster parents, Nevada

I received this email a couple days ago.  I think it’s great that the great uncle came forward.  I believe children should be kept in the family if at all possible.  But I’ve included her contact information, if anyone cares to contact her.

My uncle Sieb as a child in a tub in the garde...

My uncle Sieb as a child in a tub in the garden. Notice the dog in front of him. It’s 1931.

We were interested in adopting three siblings in Clark County. We went to the case worker Seidy White. She told us to meet them and make sure we were a good fit. Which we did – on several occasions.

My second visit with Seidy I received the news that she was working with a great uncle whom she wanted to adopt the children. She still allowed us visits with the children.

I am upset because I feel there has been foul play within the department because:

  • They did not allow us to go before the judge or be heard in CFT meetings.
  • When there are more parties who are interested in the children, the judge deserves to hear what the entire story and ALL the options are. Not just what they (Seidy White and Damalia Guiterrez) want.
  • They did not allow the judge to hear all accurate facts (regarding the great uncle – who is getting them in spite of his total lack of involvement their entire lives and more). They also didn’t listen to the facts that due to the children being in foster care for more than 12 months it negated the family claim of being best choice automatically – they were in foster care for 16 months with no interest from the uncle during that time. A disinterested party who cares more about when he can claim them on his tax return and tax deductions is getting them. This cannot be right!

They KNEW the uncle had not initiated one visit with the children while they were in foster care – not even when they said they would take them. Who would do this? Who in their right mind wouldn’t be trying to get to know them to make transition easier? This is NOT right.

He has had no interaction with them except twice – once initiated by Seidy – the other by the foster mom. It was for a short time both visits. They were surprised he did NOT make an effort – but it didn’t sway their opinion of them wanting him to have them.

  • They have lied to the birth mom, the foster mom and me (since they told us all conflicting stories). They clearly had two parties interested and on equal footing since the time the children were in foster care negated the family claim on them.
  • Due to the [amount] of time that the children were in foster care, the great uncle was not automatically the “best fit” as stated.
  • CPS was surprised that he didn’t initiate visits even after he said he would take them – but they are giving them to him anyway.
  • They did not allow my lawyer an opportunity to speak.
  • They coerced the birth mom into things she didn’t want.
  • They promised her help which they did not give.
  • They promised her things that they know outright the uncle has no intention of doing.

It appears that they have done what they deemed to be best interest because it’s what they wanted – not what was truly in the best interest of the children.

To have those children with their foster mom for that long (more than 16 months – which for the baby is half of his life), finally have stability and not have them remain able to see her again is like cruel punishment to the children. Any person who spent any amount of time with the  children would see that they love her and feel secure around her. To yank them away and give them to total strangers is indeed cruel in my opinion.

We would have had the foster mom be “grandma” and kept the birth mom in the picture so she could heal and the children would have access to their identity of who they are and where they came from…

Had they allowed us to be heard by the judge and he ruled that it was in the best interest of the children to go with the uncle that would have been one thing- but they didn’t.

Why am I doing this?

  • Because I know these children. I love them, they are bonded to their foster mom and should have her as part of their lives. She would adopt them but feels she is too old.
  • And… because they didn’t let the judge hear the facts and decide what was best.
  • They also ignored the knowledge that a state psychologist said the scenario of us having them with the foster mom as grandma with us as adoptive parent was the absolute best scenario.

I don’t believe the uncle wants them for more than a tax write off and the money you will give him. His lack of interaction speaks significantly louder than his words.

I don’t know where to go – but there has to be someone who actually cares that there is corruption in DES CPS and that the judges are ruling on cases they don’t have the facts for – intentionally left out by the case worker and her supervisor.

Nancy Genys
ngenys@gmail.com
480-390-5790

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Parenting a Liar…

November 1, 2011 in foster care, foster parents, Kidjacked, parent-child relationship

Do you have a child who lies for no apparent reason? You aren’t alone and you could be a big part of the problem, which means you can help.

A woman typing on a laptop

Foster kids need computers too

Before you get all indignant, please understand, I believe some children have what I think of, as a “lying gene,” and lying simply comes natural to these children. Children who have been moved around from foster care home to foster care home, will often take on a new identity, when they realize they are living with complete strangers and can become anyone they wish. In these cases, lying becomes a way of life.

These foster children are the ones the system likes to label as RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) children. Children in foster care soon learn to keep people at a distance and will have trust issues. Who can blame them? You can’t wear your heart on your sleeve without having it repeatedly broken by a heartless uncaring system, where the individual gets chewed up in the grinding of the system.

I can remember carrying everything I own in a paper bag. I’m certain many foster care children are thrilled to receive suitcases from churches, schools and other charitable organizations that have donation drives for foster kids. It would be wonderful if more could be done for these children. It’s too bad most foster care children never receive the benefits of things done in their name — such as donations for laptops.

Just how long do you think a child alone, left to the mercy of the system, will be able to keep a $1,000 laptop — or even a $250 notebook? If they aren’t stolen by a foster family member or foster parent, the temptation to sell it for cash or even drugs (if they are an issue) is great.

Getting back to the child with the imaginary “lying gene”

Learning how to better approach the child, can drastically increase his or her truth-telling. If you have one child, this is much easier, because you know who “did it,” you don’t have to play investigator. So, insteading of asking the child, “Who left the toilet seat up?” You simply say, “Please don’t leave the seat up on the toilet.”

As parents of a child with lying issues, it’s easy to get into the bad habit of asking questions that we already know the answers to. When we learn to rephrase our questions, or avoid asking a question all-together, we can help avoid the temptation to lie.  Often with a little thought and an attitude change, you can help your child feel better about his or herself and break the cycle of lying.

It is up to the parent to demonstrate good moral fortitude. Be sure your child hears you being honest. Take the time to continually express the importance on honestly. The Bible can serve as a useful tool in training your child in honesty. Ask your child to read, memorize, copy and recite from this list of scripture verses on honesty.

You can choose to tolerate your child’s lying, which can and often will continue as a pattern into adulthood or you can choose to change your parenting style and address the issue — the earlier the better. If you have a child who is constantly lying, don’t give up — get help.

 [Download: Bible Lesson on Truth and Lies (pdf)]

Click Here to Stop the Yelling • Lecturing • Scolding Pushing and Prodding
and Start Getting The Results You Want

Teaching Honesty to our Children

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Kinship care vs Fostering

October 15, 2011 in California, DCF, DCFS, DHS, family rights, foster parents, grandparents rights, Idaho, Michigan

I’ve had several people in the past few weeks tell me that they wish to care for their own family members – as opposed to having them placed in foster care, with strangers. These grandparents, aunts, uncles and other close relatives are being told they must become certified foster parents.

Advocating for Children in Foster and Kinship Care: A Guide to Getting the Best out of the System for Caregivers and Practitioners Federal law requires that state social workers attempt to find suitable placement for “at risk” children, who are removed from their home. In many cases the state is merely paying lip-service and doesn’t actually follow the law.

This is a violation of federal law and the state can lose their federal funding. You should always report such violations of federal law to your U.S. House Representation. Call and request an investigation. You will need to provide them with a legal release form, along with the facts and any supporting documents.

Just today the Idaho Press-Tribune ran an interesting article:

In Idaho, more grandparents still in parental role

Many grandparents who take in grandchildren qualify for a $300 Temporary Assistance for Needy Families grant. The amount is the same regardless of the number of children in a family.

Grandparents also can become certified as foster parents, and take in their own grandchildren through the state system. That means more financial support. Monthly foster payments per child in Idaho range from $274 to $431 based on age; payments increase if children have special needs. Foster children get Medicaid cards and other benefits.

But many families don’t want to do that, Perry said. Some bristle at the idea of giving the state that much control over their families, even temporarily.

“They feel taking care of their own family is their responsibility,” he said.

Tracee Crawford, one of the leaders of the Grandparents as Parents of the Treasure Valley, a Southwest Idaho support group, said grandparents sometimes hesitate to ask for help of any kind, afraid that if they make trouble, their children will take the grandchildren away.

Becoming a legal guardian, another option, comes with its own complications, including steep legal costs, said Crawford.

She became part of a kin-care family when her daughter had cancer. Crawford cared for her and her grandson until her daughter died. She’s been in long legal battles with her former son-in-law over visitation rights with her grandson.

“To become a legal guardian, you have to prove a parent — your child — is unfit,” she said. “That’s really hard to do” — factually and emotionally.

Each state is different, which makes it difficult to know exactly what the law is your own state.

In my own case, I was shocked to find that while I was getting monthly kinship care checks from the State of California of ($357 – back in 2002), at the same time, another relative had a sibling to my grandson. The only difference was that they lived in Michigan; her checks from the State of Michigan – $123.  I felt bad for her because this child has autism and even in Michigan $123. doesn’t go far.

Be sure you check into your own states law, make a few phone calls, talk to an attorney and check out a few state websites before you sign anything. The choice you make could make a big difference in just how much help you are entitled to.

On that note, let me just remind you that if you accept money from the state, you accept all the strings that go along with that money, but it’s better than starving — maybe. We didn’t like giving up so much of our privacy, so we stopped received state funds many years ago – as soon as we could stand on our own two feet.

Knowledge is Power! Exercise your brain.

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