You are browsing the archive for reunification | My.Kidjacked.com.

Threats, Lies and Trickery

June 21, 2011 in Child Protective Services, Washington

I received this email recently from a Washington state mother that I just had to share with you. This isn’t just an article that someone wrote off the top of their head. This is a parent, who battled and won her fight against the giant CPS machine that gobbles up families for breakfast. Her courage and fortitude should be an inspiration to us all.

Annette,

Children Walking on Trail

Threats, Lies and Trickery

I hate reliving that nightmare and was threatened by my own joke-of-a-lawyer that IF I ever got my child back (I never let myself doubt for a second that I wouldn’t) that I should leave the state and keep a low profile. Being the defiant one that I am, I laughed and said there was no way that I’d run and hide from anyone.

Instead, I got angry and decided I’d be even more vocal and obvious, even after I got my child home. I took her (and still do on occasion) to court hearings for other families, (this really upsets CPS workers because I am shoving it in all their faces — all their lies and bullying, right back on them and they know it). I took part in rally protests outside our courthouses, at the juvenile court and CPS buildings — my daughter even held up signs with us.

CPS preys on the weak and helpless – they rely on being able to terrorize and manipulate and coerce you, so they select their victims carefully. They have a little checklist that they go through when they get any kind of referrals etc., and if the parents have a steady income they are usually rejected right off the bat!

If parents have a strong family support system in place, they again are normally rejected. This ‘checklist’ has nothing to do with the child’s safety at all, it is about MONEY.

I have been taking college classes that include child abuse and neglect (they can’t flunk you for stating your opinion). I am sure the teacher was glad to get me out of that class. I was shocked to learn some of the things I did.  If you have the time and the ability, take the class at your local college, just to check it out.  Believe me, you will learn how they can pressure schools and medical staff, etc. to make reports for things that are just total bull, and why these people go along with it.

You will learn how to help the people you are advocating for as well, if you can’t, try to get someone in your group to attend. It really is worth it to learn that stuff. You don’t have to let them know a damn thing, it is a college class that is offered to anyone for any reason.

I wish I could make promises to parents that if they did this and this, then things would be all good in the end. I can’t.

I fought damn hard but I know that without faith and prayer my fight would have been lost. I refused to bow down to them. I researched and learned everything possible. I didn’t give up, even when I felt hopeless, (that’s when I pulled out my daughters pictures and focused on WHY I couldn’t just give up).

I glued her picture to all my case folders and had her face before me at all times. I put it in front of the caseworkers, attorneys and legislators too. It made her REAL to them. I never let them think of her as a court document number (that made many very uncomfortable, which is a GOOD thing).

Another very important thing is that I DID NOT give them any bullets to shoot me with. I stayed away from places that could be used against me – bars, areas known for drugs or partying etc… I stayed away from anything that could in anyway be turned against me later. They made up many lies, since they could not find anything to use against me, but I documented everything and had many witnesses to back me up, so in the end they only screwed themselves by doing that.

You CAN WIN!

It may take time and many parents will sign documents due to their belief in CPS’s lies, promising to help get their kids back quicker.

Never sign anything without your attorney
explaining the possible outcome  — Never Ever!

I don’t care what CPS says, they have ulterior motives on everything and UNLESS the judge tells you or your attorney says you HAVE to, don’t do it. CPS will try to say that you are required to, or you are out of compliance — that is one of their lies they use to force parents to sign away their rights. Don’t sign anything, not for any reason.

This is SOOOO IMPORTANT.  SO SO SO SO IMPORTANT. Once you put your signature to paper you give up rights and I promise this – those rights aren’t given back. CPS will push hard and the harder they push the more you can bet that they are trying to pull some underhanded B.S. on you that will come back to bite you later. That is a red flag for anyone, if they are pushing hard and if they get forceful or start making promises then you know that they are up to something bad.

In addition, parents who believe that if they just agree and go along then CPS will help them are sadly in denial and will be in much pain later. Moreover, there is NO RECOURSE after the fact. Unless you file complaints when the problem is happening or right afterwards, then you will be seen as an angry parent that is just looking to blame someone else for your own screw up.

This takes courage for sure, but believe me, waiting until you absolutely can’t deny the lies any more is too late.

I don’t care how nice the worker seems or how sincere and helpful she/he might portray themselves to be, it is an act to get you to willingly let yourself be screwed. No better then how the Jews were willingly herded to the camps – at least that is how many compare the two.

DO NOT BE AN EASY VICTIM!

Don’t be a out-of-control maniac either because that is just as harmful.  Learn to be in control of your emotions, don’t allow them to know your afraid or worried or anything… even if you must pretend, always come off with an attitude of strength and determination.

ALSO DO NOT SAY ANYTHING THAT THEY CAN PROVE TO BE A LIE!

If you don’t know how to respond to something then DON’T RESPOND. I went to a required parenting class and listened to some parents just unburden themselves, thinking they were safe to vent in that group. I discovered quite by accident that one of the “parents” was actually a CPS worker, posing as a parent, to spy on another workers clients and reporting back everything she heard! I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT.

That ‘fake parent’ also attends AA and other twelve step “anonymous” meetings for the same reason. They are corrupt as hell and unfortunately naive parents that don’t know their rights become their best victims.

It makes me sick to my stomach what they do, that is why I refused to run and hide. I know that my ‘streak of defiance’ (since a child and my survival mechanism growing up) helped me but some parents don’t have that in them, and so for them I allow my case to be used at Senate hearing still and why I am okay with you posting my stuff (minus personal identifying words). I hope others can grow and learn. I am sorry that I can’t do more. I had to stop testifying myself because it was so painful to keep reliving things over and over and never allowing myself to heal, which hurt my daughter too.

My prayers are with those parents fighting for their children and those, like you, who help them. I know the pain they are going through. I hope they find the strength to fight. It is a fight for sure, especially if your children are “highly adoptable” because they bring in more money.

Sick huh? I mean, they gotta have them fancy phones ya know!! It’s much more important then actually helping a family in crisis don’t ya think? What a crock of crap!

CPS is an organized criminal enterprise, kidnapping children for human trafficking purposes with government funding! The great thing is most of them are so arrogant that they really do screw up on a daily basis and their lies can be brought to light, if people would document and question everything more.

They love to interrogate you, but boy watch them squirm when you turn the tables around. I think one of the funniest things is how they always want to force background checks on any and everyone a parent might have in their lives ‘for the safety of the child’.

Well, I turned that around on them and said “OK, then I want a background check done on you, and you and you,” and pointed to everyone in the room (which was about 12 various officials, of some sort or another). WOW, did they get their backs up fast. Lets just say that I never once had to have ANYONE I knew get a background check done! Background checks are an illegal attempt to force others to allow them into their lives in search for more victims, and I wasn’t willing to be the avenue to let it happen.

I pray that you are able to reach out and help others. You should check out Washington Families United if you haven’t already. They have really made some huge impacts at the state level that have made such incredible differences for families in our state. I think that the stronger our networks are, the more powerful our fight against CPS abuse/corruption on every level.

Oh, another hilarious tactic that has a huge impact on CPS agents, is to get some dirt on at least one CPS worker (we had a Private Investigator do work on the worse workers we knew – three to start with) and then send a copy of the information to everyone of the CPS email addresses you have, at the same time throughout the state!  OMG does it cause up some chaos. The info doesn’t have to be more then a poor driving record and a bad credit report, but it still gets them upset – those who didn’t get investigated now are worried they are next!  It is really quite comical.

I know that each time I found even the littlest information that brought the “BIG SCARY MONSTER” back down to realistic size, my fears became silly and I felt stronger and more capable then ever.

I hate that it took a year to get my girl home and that she suffered during that time, but I know that my case made a difference for many families and that is something I am very thankful for. Parents need to be strong, to believe in themselves (and their ability to learn and grow no matter what), and to know that their child needs THEM – not some stranger but THEM AND ONLY THEM.

I have heard some parents say that their kids were better off without them; I think that is not true at all, and would only believe that if the parent were abusive and failed to protect the child from abuse.

I struggled to believe in myself as a parent, and found tons of things that could be seen, as reasons I was not the best mom. I hate to cook, I suck at it in fact and many times, I thought that it was reason enough to prove my failure as a mom.

However, my grown sons reminded me that even though I didn’t cook, I NEVER let them go hungry or eat crap. I managed to be sure they ate good and healthy for the most part. Stuff like that can really be damaging to parents who already feel alone, worthless, and powerless. It is so important NOT to give into those lies. Children are never better off with someone else (unless they were given up for adoption at birth and never knew their natural parents anyway). They need their family, their real family.

Did you know that children are 9 times more likely to be abused in foster care than with biological family? That scares the crap out of me. My daughter never once had known abuse or neglect until she was placed in foster care and I HATE them for that. I was denied the ability to comfort and protect my child, by the same people who claimed to have taken her for her own protection! Yeah right!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Prayers are Answered, Child Returned

June 17, 2011 in CPS, Washington

Some of you may remember the Kitsap County case that was posted on Kidjacked back in 2004. I can’t express how pleased I am to hear that this young mother, fought CPS and won. Her child was returned home to her after a horrendous ordeal. She offers advice and words of encouragment for parents who find themselves fighting to bring their children home.

Lenght of stay in U.S. foster care

Image via Wikipedia

My children are home with me. My fight was well worth it, as I believe that our case did make a difference for others. I found a lot of inner strength I didn’t know I had through our ordeal and it made me a better person and better mother.

Since then, sadly, I have found that far too few parents really are willing to fight for their children. Regardless of what brought them into the situation they are in, many refuse to do what they need to do. I refused to be a victim but I also chose to learn and grow from everything we went through. I took whatever classes etc they asked/demanding with an attitude of  believing that it would only make me a better parent so why not?

Of course, as you know, CPS chose to twist and distort whatever I did and turn it around but because I was determined to do whatever it took for my daughter, I didn’t give them any ‘bullets’ to shoot me with. I kept detailed documentation of EVERYTHING! That, Annette, is the most powerful weapon you can have against CPS — they fight dirty but if you fight with truth that is backed up with documentation then you will win.

I won not just custody of my daughter I won much more. I fought one of the most corrupt offices in our state because:

  1. I refused for one second to believe I would not get my daughter back.
  2. I chose to see everything as an opportunity to learn, grow, and be a better parent.
  3. I did not rely on others to fight for me; I did not sit back and let myself be a silent victim.
  4. I SCREAMED out the wrongs that were committed against us, despite the threats against my daughter and I by CPS and all the corrupt people associated with them including my own worthless attorneys.
  5. I kept my ‘nose clean’ – CPS looks for any little reason to slam you and when they can’t find one they make them up as they go. I refused to give them one and when they lied, I had documentation to prove their lies.
  6. I learned what the laws were in our state, I learned what my rights were, I never signed anything without reading and understanding what I was signing. This definitely seemed to go against me at first, it pissed off the system to no end but it preserved my and my daughter’s rights in the long-term.
  7. I refused to let CPS terrify me. They are a corrupt bunch of liars and they see children as nothing more then the means to keep their jobs secure – without children they have no reason to be.
  8. I documented everything — DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT
  9. Get witnesses, build your support network through therapists, councilors, and legislators.
  10. Recognize that no parent is perfect but every parent CAN grow and be better. Denying that you make mistakes is ridiculous. That does NOT mean spill your guts to CPS – that is plain stupid. It means you recognize areas that need strengthening and you focus on them, growing, learning, and becoming stronger for your child’s sake.

Never Give Up!

I could add much more but I am sure you understand where I am going. I had a friend that made a huge difference in how I saw things during that time. He told me that if I needed to scream/vent etc. to do it privately at him. However, when I was in court or attending those joke meetings that I should NEVER let myself get emotional and angry. They want that and will (and did) push my buttons so I would lose composure and they could say I was not able to handle stress, so I would not be able to care for my child.

I learned hard to control the rage within me, and it was rage — my daughter was placed in five foster homes, in less than five months and was abused in each one. She had NEVER been abused or neglected before.

I had gotten ill and was hospitalized and it took nearly a year to get her home. She was four, blue eyed, blonde and beautiful and was considered HIGHLY adoptable so CPS had no intention of reunification.

I wrote to every attorney, civil rights organizations, legislatures, congressional representative, politician, even the president himself. I refused to be silenced. I filed grievances and learned to file my own court documents, motions, etc… (in the accepted manner) due to learning not to rely on court kangaroos to fight for me (they earn their income because of CPS and so they too need the system to fund their life styles).

Most of all Annette, I prayed. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed, and asked God to help me see what I needed to learn from it all. I believed that there was a greater purpose that I wasn’t understanding, I still believe that. I am not a ‘religious’ person at all, but I have faith in God and that ordeal only strengthened that faith.

My daughter came home almost one year after she was removed from our home. She was covered in ugly bruises and scratches, from a much older foster girl who took out her rage on my five-year-old baby girl. I had tried to report the abuse earlier and the worthless POS social worker said, “it must be payback!”

What could a five-year-old girl have done to deserve that?

The social worker made the mistake of thinking she was above reproach and that I was the average cowering parent that would bow down to her. I bow only to God and that definitely made the social worker angry and I had a much harder time of it but I am okay with that, as I know that my case has helped many other people, even now after over eight years. That knowledge helps me to be thankful for what we went through, knowing that somehow there was good to come from it, not that I would have willingly asked for the experience.

My daughter is doing incredible, she remembers all of that and still will have a nightmare here and there but she knows how hard her mom fought for her, she knows that her mom never once gave up. She knows that her mom would/will do whatever it takes for her.

I sat outside the CPS building many times filled with rage, wanting to blow that evil box to hell. I fought so hard to NOT grab my baby during visits and just run. I knew that none of that would make things better in the long run, no matter how much I hurt at the time so I prayed. I prayed for strength, faith, wisdom, and help. God heard and answered my prayers – not how I would have answered but even better and I am thankful. My family is stronger and closer then ever and that is a great thing.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Demand Return of Parental Rights

June 17, 2011 in Child Protective Services, corruption, justice, parental rights

Father’s Day is this Sunday. We know that Mother’s Day is really rough for those with children living in foster homes. Let’s not forget that Father’s grief the loss of their children too. Please join me in praying that this father finds answers and is reunified with his child.

Choosing The Right Key

Choosing The Right

I am a good father of 6-year-old twins (a boy & a girl) and stepfather of an 8-year-old girl. I want to withdraw my consent to services and even my submission in our juvenile dependency case. Between the kids mother and myself we were both coerced, threatened, and tricked into assigning our signatures to consent forms, submissions and services. Our six month review hearing approaches.

I am convinced that fraud, deceit, lies, deception, and unfair law practices are at work and I know that I am be led to slaughter by the system. How do I withdraw? I know I wont participate any longer, knowing that service is submission. What steps can I take on August 6th, to insist that the courts return my parental rights?

M.D.,
Father-at-large

Enhanced by Zemanta

Mississippi Therapist Requires Assistance

May 20, 2011 in Adoption, Child Protective Services, corruption, DFCS, Mississippi

I have been working with the C. family, a lovely young couple who are risk of losing their only son. These parents are in imminent danger of the loss of their parental rights.  As always, I suppose, the story is complicated but also very unusual and compelling.  They have had to fire their lawyer this week due to multiple failures to adequately represent their interests.  I have promised to do what I could to help them locate another lawyer.

The child’s father is deploying to the Middle East on Thursday of next week (May 26th, 2011).  The parents thought that there would be no legal action taken in the case until his return in February of 2012, but we have learned that the DFCS caseworkers are pressing for a quick hearing.  They are terrified to be without adequate counsel at this time.

I have just read Nancy Schaefer’s letter on your website.  We need information about whether the dollars available to the states through the Adoption and the Safe Families Act are currently available to this DFCS.  The youth court and DFCS county in which the parents reside has the worst reputation in Mississippi. 

We are working with an investigative reporter with a national reputation who is interested in doing the story.  We need documentary evidence or even good stories about loss of parental rights for cash from mississippi.  There is a new youth court judge who is a huge adoption advocate. We need the names of helpful contacts.  Would sure appreciate your help.  I have attached a letter to the judge which summarizes the case and explains my involvement briefly.

(Note: This letter has been edited to protect the families identity.)

This letter was received from an Occupational Therapist, who writes in part.

Dear Judge, 

I have written to you this morning regarding the case of the C. family whose case you were going to hear today.  I am an early intervention therapist helping children age 0-3 with developmental problems.  Last summer, while in the course of my duties, I stumbled into a situation that has struck me as so blatantly unjust that I could not dismiss it as being out of the scope of my professional practice and as such not my concern. 

I met toddler C. (now 27 months old) and his parents in mid August while responding to a request for an oral motor and sensory processing skills assessment.  This request was made by toddler C.’s Service Coordinator for the First Steps Early Intervention Program, a service of the MS State Department of Health. I met briefly with them in their home to observe the child’s play and feeding skills which were significantly delayed.  During the course of my initial interview I learned that he had been in foster care and was being supervised by a case manager with the Department of Human Services.

The following week Mrs. C., called to cancel our appointment saying that his doctor had admitted him directly from his clinic appointment to the hospital.   Mom then called to tell me that the child would miss his second appointment because a hearing had been called to determine if he was unsafe in their custody and needed to be removed from their home for his safety.  She was clearly distraught, had recently moved into the area, and had no local family support besides that of her husband.  I felt a moral obligation knowing the circumstances to respond to her request for my presence at the hearing.

What occurred at the hearing in the Harrison County Youth Courtroom both shocked me and offended my sense of justice.  The conduct of the guardian ad litem struck me as deeply inappropriate and insensitive in relationship to the removal of a child from his parents.

Many accusations were leveled at the parents with no attempt to support them with any evidence. I heard that the same attitude and hearsay was displayed by the DHS supervisor at the follow up hearing a few days later.  

At this hearing neither the parents nor their lawyer were permitted to say anything in their defense.   Their lawyer unsuccessfully attempted to introduce a report completed by a pediatric gastroenterologist who had diagnosed the child with digestive problems. This report challenged the opinion of the physician that had admitted him into the hospital and had pressed for protective custody in the belief that his weight loss was due to his parents’ failure to feed him adequately.  

It is my understanding that this physician denied the parents a referral to a gastroenterologist and in fact the parents were accused in the courtroom of “doctor shopping” for seeking any other medical advice regarding their son’s condition. According to the boy’s mother, threats were made by DHS caseworkers and supervisors that if they sought alternative medical advice this would decrease their chances that they would be given custody of their son.

The reasons for the refusal of the pediatrician to pursue gastroenterological evaluation are unknown.  To our knowledge she has not yet provided a detailed rationale for this either verbally or through medical documentation. 

Other troubling aspects of this case which I know only through the parents, include advising the parents to plead no contest prior to the first hearing, conflicting messages and inadequate information from case managers and their supervisors, the repeated removal of case managers who indicated their support for the reunification of the family, and the lack of information and advocacy with the goal of family preservation. 

I did witness a statement made by a case manager supervisor following the August hearing in which, while refusing to answer the parent’s questions, she stated, “I am glad that you have a good lawyer” and “this is bull-it”.  Multiple efforts to engage high level staff at DHS through phone calls and e mails have either not been returned or not followed up. 

The parents have completed a detailed chronology of the events that have led to each of their losses of custody.  This includes an exhaustive body of data in support of their contention that the child’s removal from their custody is based on unwarranted assumptions, hearsay, misinterpretation, and a failure to investigate the reasons for his weight loss.  There is a lot of detail in their chronology about weight loss incidents that has been correlated with the physicians’ documentation.  

This young but resourceful family has experienced such isolation throughout this period, now over a year long.  Great psychological harm has been done to them.  The parents have received thorough and ongoing psychological evaluation and they are found to be normal for people under great stress.  There are indications that the boy has experienced psychological harm, but this has not been investigated by a credentialed mental health professional. 

This crisis has served to reunite and strengthen the parent’s relationship with one another. They have benefitted from the parent education experiences in which they have participated. They live for the weekly visitations with their child, which have on several occasions, been denied.  Their perception is that no one in the Department of Human Services supports their goal of  reunification.

It is my opinion that the relationship between the department and the family has been characterized by ignorance, withholding of information, and use of manipulation through threats of the permanent loss of custody.  These parents are two loving and competent parents that are at this time beside themselves over this last postponement, only one of many.  I ask that you do what you can to end the victimization of this child and his parents at the hands of the Department of Human Services.

Sincerely, 
Mississippi Occupational Therapist

Family Stuck In Limbo

September 9, 2006 in CPS

Peggy writes in about her families struggle to obtain reunification services:

Our county CPS, claims they want to reunite the family but the case worker seems to want to keep us apart. We have complied with everything they wanted us to do and they still keep our girls from us.

Now they have sent our youngest to be diagnosed, they sent our oldest to an behavorial academy. Now we feel they are going to send our youngest. It is just like a prison. We need help but have nothing left.

My husbands place of employment is over in a week, he had an offer to transfer but had to turn it down because of CPS. We can’t just run out on our children.

My youngest is so hard that she is keeping it all bottle in and acting out to keep from feeling the hurt. They won’t even get her help so she can talk about it.

Please help us some way.

css.php
Skip to toolbar