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Oregon DHS & Civil Rights

January 10, 2013 in California, corruption, DHS, Oklahoma, Oregon

Oregon Department of Human Services

Oregon Department of Human Services

I feel our civil rights have been violated by Oregon Department of Human Services (DHS), especially by the West 11th and Willamette Street Offices in Eugene, OR.

I’ve written the Governor, the Congressmen, County Officials for Lane County as well about this. DHS is making our lives hell and we’ve done nothing wrong. They are verbally assaulting us, yelling at us on the phone and in email and we’ve had enough. We are good, loving parents, and just want our kids back home where they belong. Three of our kids are special needs children, one being autistic spectrum disorder, level 50 of 60, and DHS especially Kasey Gaylon and Jordan Meyer are set on making themselves look like they are powerful and us looking like we are criminals.

I came into my fiance’s family in August of 2011. Welcomed with open arms and loving kids who adored me and my own two adult kids. Everything was going great, we decided to live together and combine two families in one. A fairy tale with hopes and aspirations.

Until that fateful day that the wicked witch of the Northwest, aka their 2nd cousin Sabrina Kinser, who calls herself their aunt started her psychophrenic rampage on our family. This woman by the way is an “escort” (prostitute), drug user, has had her own child stripped from her. You can Google her, or find her paid advertisements on backpage.com. She is now pregnant again and is trying to take our 13 year old daughter to turn her into a “mini her”, and has repeatedly asked us to adopt her from us. A little over a year ago in November, she asked for us to allow the kids to come to her house for Thanksgiving. Against our better judgment, but because of their mother who we wanted them to share the holiday with her family and get closer together, we allowed them to go spend the night with their mom’s side of the family.

Thanksgiving Holiday

BAD MISTAKE letting the kids go see their other side of the family for the Thanksgiving holiday. The “escort” went psychotic on the kids and her own family. Threw everyone out of the house, threatened to physically beat our kids and her family members, locked our 13 year old daughter in a room, told her to lie to police about things, basically kidnapped the kids. We demanded she return them home, she refused. She threatened to come kill us in our own home. We called the Lane County Sheriff’s office who would NOT assist. DHS allowed our children to stay in the home with her until they were placed with my fiance’s mother temporarily. Her own family was ringing our phone off the hook, telling us all about the rampage.

This family member wants our 13 year old daughter to start selling herself for money, telling her it’s okay, that she will make a lot of money and wouldn’t have to worry about her parents supporting her anymore. Shortly after the thanksgiving incident she had our 13 year old daughter show up at our 22 year old daughter’s home in high stripper heels, a mini skirt that barely covered, and a tube top in the middle of winter. We do NOT allow this as parents. But DHS feels it’s okay for our daughter to dress how she wants, that it’s an expression of adulthood. I’m sorry but she’s too young. That’s why we had to put her in Willamette Leadership Academy, due to grades, drug use, and peer problems in school. We made the right choices as parents, but DHS seems to disagree with us.

Not My Children: A True Story of CPS and Government Funded Kidnappers

The next morning after no sleep, we were awoken to four Lane County Sheriffs banging on our door and one case worker, Jordan Meyer . Jordan Meyer without a signed HIPAA form, accused me of things that I never did in front of my fiance. They did a search of our home without a warrant or permission by either of us, treated us like criminals and then informed us of our rights.

Charged with Molestation!

My ex-husband was arrested in Las Vegas NV and is currently serving time in Lovelock Correctional Facility in Lovelock, NV for child molestation etc. I had went to court in California at the time and gave my parents legal guardianship of my then 9 and 10 year old kids to get them away from the man, over 12 years ago! Jordan Meyer told my fiance’ without my consent or accurate information that I was the child molester, that I was a danger to kids, and that he should remove me from our home immediately.

I was a victim of my ex and so was my kids. He had tried to kill us and molested my kids from ages 1 and 2 to 9 and 10, molested his other daughter who was mentally disabled, and 8 other kids.

Why would a DHS official…

  1. Assume that without proper information.
  2. Disclose information without proper Privacy Act permissions.
  3. Threaten me and tell me to shut up when I was trying to explain that he was mistaken, even told him to look up NDOC Inmate # 1007007 to verify. He wouldn’t even allow me to get my laptop to prove it. Had an officer push me back down by my shoulders onto the couch and threatened arrest. I have spina bifoda occulta with fibromyalgia and beginning stages of arthritis from my disability. I may not look disabled but I am.

I tried telling them they were mistaken that we had called against the ex family member. They wouldn’t listen. They told us our kids weren’t coming home and that we had to be to court first thing Monday morning.

They sent the kids to my fiance’s mother’s house (I’ll get to that later about her- another horror story), and told us we could not contact or see our kids. What the hell? We were good, loving parents who kept the house clean and them well cleaned and fed and loved.

We went to court on that fateful Monday, and I was informed that my son and myself had to leave our own home, because DHS didn’t believe the CA court system that my ex was the criminal not me. I didn’t get to spend Christmas with my new family and was banned from my own home for no reason.

Allegations Founded!

Finally on January 30, 2012 right before court, they dismissed the case and I was allowed to return home to my loving fiance’ and four loving soon to be step kids. We were told by DHS they had made a mistake in regards to me, and that we had a good loving home. DHS kept their allegations FOUNDED even though the courts did not agree, and used it to open another case against us later. We were like YES its finally over. NOPE WRONG!

In May of 2012, my future mother in law coerced our 13 year old to report to DHS because she was upset that we had taken her iPod and Internet rights due to grades and bad choices she was making in her life.

West 11th DHS called us at home and informed us that they had our 13 year old and was NOT returning her home. All over a iPod and INTERNET?! For no reason they removed me from my own home again. I did nothing wrong!

My fiance’s mother had become a problem every since she moved in. She was talking to Sabrina Kinser behind our backs and making secret plans to take Jessica back to Oklahoma, and leave the boys here. We found out after the fact about all this from the other side of the family. We had exiled Sabrina from the family back in November.

We found out my fiance’s mother was behind what Jessica had told DHS, along with the cousin who had started all this turmoil in our lives. At the time, we did not know this and had asked his if things got bad with DHS, would she assume legal guardianship over the kids until this was settled. She said no, she would take Jessica and only Jessica, and let DHS take all the boys.

She was planning on kidnapping our 13 year old and going back to Oklahoma without our knowledge. When she decided to “throw our boys under the bus” but not our daughter, we told her she needed to find another place to live.

We had went to the Function for Junction that day with the boys, since our daughter was still not returned home, two days before our next court hearing, but she had wanted to stay home. We came home to a dark empty house and her gone. She went back to Oklahoma, sold her grand-kids out and abandoned them in a time of need. We had found a suitcase left behind in haste with our daughter’s clothes packed up in it but not the boys.

HIPAA Privacy Act Law

Against HIPAA Privacy Act Law, DHS worker Kasey Gaylon is allowing our kids to have contact with the escort cousin and the grandma. We never signed any paperwork allowing such contact. This cousin of the children has been seen screaming extreme vulgarities to the 5 and 4 year old and stalking our house every day all day until we were forced to move where she couldn’t hopefully find us. They are both very inappropriate people for our children to communicate with, but against our complaints, as well as the CRB, Kasey continues allowing it.

Later, In August, DHS and Lane County Sheriff showed up at our house again, arrested my fiance’ and took our 3 boys. I can’t talk about all this because it’s an on going case, but they had no reason to take the boys from their home or arrest my fiance. He is now facing criminal charges because of guess who…Jordan Meyer and District Attorney Barbara Stoll.

I was rudely talked to by Jordan, harassed by him and rudely talked to by Lane County Sheriff officers, and forced to leave my own property yet again or face being arrested also. When Jordan Meyer insisted my fiance’ to be arrested they cuffed him in front of the kids, 2 being special needs children, dragged him to the cruiser and threw him into the car.

Fighting CPS Guilty Until Proven Innocent of Child Protective Services’ Charges

In the police report, it states that they were not going to take the boys and were not going to arrest my fiance but Jordan Meyer insisted on it. My daughter, her fiance’ and two other adult members showed up and asked to keep the boys, they were refused. When he was transported to the Lane County Jail, he requested something to keep him warm, they had put him into the “fishtank” and refused to give him his seizure medication which he needed, had slammed him up against a wall, yelled at him, and told him he was a (sorry to say) piece of shit who deserved nothing.

My fiance’ stated the back of his head bounced off the cement wall. He was then thrown back into the holding tank and was given a 24 hour old sandwich to eat after 12 hours. Was told to choke on it and die because he deserved to. Is this how law enforcement is supposed to act? My fiance’ had a seizure in the holding cell and no one medically assisted him, even yelled at me on the phone when I called to tell them he needed to take Keppra 4 times a day for epilepsy. He also has a heart condition because of the seizures.

Threatened with Arrest!

Officer Gill was one of the responding officers at our house and threatened to arrest me if I didn’t leave my property immediately. He even followed my daughter to my mom’s house to make sure I was home at her house. Is this normal of the law enforcement officials? They stated our boys, who are 4 and 5 were filthy dirty and starving. This is incorrect. They had been bathed the night before and had eaten a big dinner. They did not get breakfast yet, because of them getting out of the house, which by the way was up on stilts in Marcola. The cousin who caused all this drama has been heard bragging by local Marcolians for having gotten my fiance’ arrested and that she took the boys out of their bedroom window , and that we can never prove it.

When we tell the DHS that, they call us liars and that we are delusional, making things up. There was no possible way 2 small children could have opened that heavy window on their own all the way to the top beyond their reach.

The officers waited almost 2 hours before they even went to the door, which my fiance’ did answer, thinking the boys were still in their bedroom. They yelled at him, called him a piece of shit father, etc. I had called my fiance’ every half hour from my mom’s on the home phone the night before and he had checked on the boys up until 3:00 am. I was on the phone with him when he had checked on the boys, by listening to see if they were awake yet at 7:30 and 8:30 am.

He assumed they were still asleep, but didn’t want to open the door and wake them up. Deputy Gill had stated our 5 year old autistic son had stated his genitals hurt and he had changed his diaper (which he is in diapers due to tethered cord), but instead he had forced our 12 yr old son to change his brother. He also stated wording that is not in our 5 year old’s speech usage. Our son barely speaks and mainly uses sign language as a form of communication.

Foster Care

We had went to the Serbu Juvenile Courthouse, which at the time sided with DHS and stated the kids were to be placed into foster care. Where they are currently, since May and August of last year. We were unfairly given a fact finding hearing by Judge Henry. Any and all witnesses for us were sent away, per DHS, because they were going to release the children back home and close the case, but when they sent away our witnesses, they changed their mind quickly and ruled against us, but allowed their witnesses to testify.

Even allowed my fiance’s mother to call in after we had removed her from our home prior to all this, and DHS did not notify any parties in the case that she was calling or on the phone until the last second. It was not even entered into discovery for fact finding.

Since then, everything was going fine with visits at the DHS office on 18th and Willamette. DHS worker Kasey Gaylon was moving the visits to OCP on 11th and Pearl. She had even stated if we moved to a bigger visitation room that she would consider allowing me to see the kids who I have not seen since May.

Boy did she lie! She so far has threatened us, threatened to take visitation away from my fiance’ if he served our son for a court case in regards to all this, she forced our 12 year old to leave the court house saying she wouldn’t allow him to testify, she refused them visitation with me, double dosed them on vaccinations, won’t allow our autistic son to have the surgery he needs for a tethered cord, which keeps him from feeling his bowel movements, yelled at my fiance’ both on the phone and in emails, has told me I have to move my car to the back of the building (which sorry I’m not going to do). I don’t have to move my car, it’s a parking lot and I have a handicap placard.

Isn’t that discrimination? A violation of my rights? She stated that it’s not good for the kids to see me and makes the foster parents uneasy. WRONG. The kids make hand hearts, wave to me, blow me kisses and smile when they see me. DHS admitted they were wrong about me by supervisor Nicole Sims, what the hell is their problem?

We even have a signed agreement by DHS stating they would not ever bring up my California history, or use it against me ever again, yet Kasey Gaylon violated that agreement, so did Trina who was our previous worker. Trina was corrected by Nicole Sims in a meeting about not using that against me. Still to this day they are. The signed agreement also stated that any workers are to verify with us any reports prior to opening a case, and not allow contact with the other family, which includes the cousin.

They have violated this as well, telling us that the agreement is now null and void per Kasey. DHS also in that agreement agreed to work with me as a member of this family, and to date, has not done so. I get glared at by Kasey, she talks down to my fiance’ about me, and does not allow the kids to mention me. She has exiled me from the children’s lives. Mr. Singh , one of your DHS workers, had come to our home before all this started in May, and closed the previous case against us from November, stating our home was safe and we were good parents.

Kids Playing at Childrens Playground Ship

Kids Playing at Childrens Playground

DHS worker Kasey Gaylon has stated she wants to work on reunification with the family, we have done everything that she has requested. We had to force her to give the referrals to go to CAFA, she only gives my fiance’ one hour a week, for four kids, we drive an hour to the visit and an hour back, but she has made no efforts for reunification. No updated case plans, no meetings with us BOTH to make sure the kids have a good home where we live, etc. Normal protocol is to have the kids home usually within 6 months if not less.

Inappropriate Behavior!

Our 13 year old has been out of the home since May. The CRB (Citizen’s Review Board), has told DHS Worker Kasey Gaylon that they want her to basically get off her ass and start working on reunification. Since in foster care our 13 year old daughter shoplifted from Valley River Center, something she has never done before, subsequently getting her banned from the mall, Kasey had placed her in a home with 8 other foster kids, with a family who was only doing it for the money, per them.

She allowed our 13 year old daughter to engage in inappropriate relationships with both boys and girls, which we were not allowing her to date yet, because we felt she was too young still and was still making wrong choices in her life. Kasey Gaylon also allowed the foster parents to let our daughter stay out all hours of the night and dress in clothes we did not approve of, like jeans with a hole in the crotch, low cut tank tops, etc.

She also allowed the foster parents to let our 13 year old pour bleach on her head and ruin her hair. She refused to listen to us about the children’s Dr, who we had recently switched, and gave our children shots that they had just received, causing our two younger children to become sick from the vaccinations. She refused to give our 12 year old severe ADHD son the medication he needed in order to function in school and to get along with his peers. It took calling his psychiatrist and having him call her and demand it.

She is still allowing contact with the paternal grandmother and the maternal cousin, both are bad news. Since then, Kasey has moved our 13 year old to a home with a 16 year old boy who our daughter states likes her in that way. Kasey denies this at the CRB, and stated that there was nothing she could do, it was the biological son of the foster parents. At the CRB she stated our daughter was doing well in school, but was corrected by OCP stating this was false information, that in fact our daughter’s grades were poor. She has moved our two younger special needs children three times since August.

Our last visit, DHS worker Kasey Gaylon was at OCP. She had their visitation monitored and watched my fiance like a hawk, forcing the OCP lady to sit in the room with him and the kids which made it very awkward, she was within inches of him when he took our autistic son to the bathroom or when our 4 year old wanted a book.

She (visitation supervisor ordered by Kasey Gaylon) refused to allow him to walk the boys (who are special needs btw) to the foster parent’s car to put them in car seats, and yelled at our 12 year old and my fiance’ while I was watching in the car for him to LEAVE NOW and told our 12 year old he couldn’t hug his mom or say bye to me he had to get inside NOW.

They even refused to let the children see their family dog who comes with us to the visits. Force me to sit in a cold car, not allowed to go inside and use the facilities, and glare at me when they come out of the visit to place our kids into the foster parents cars. Kasey was retaliating against my fiance because she did not want him to serve our 12 yr old, but per our legal counsel, was ordered to allow it. Previous to moving to OCP for visitation, my fiance’ was allowed with the visitation supervisor, to escort the boys out to the cars and load them into their car seats.

DHS worker Kasey Gaylon was confronted by the kids’ mom about her license which DHS was supposed to be working on getting for her. DHS worker Kasey Gaylon then yelled at her and questioned their mom as to why she was in our car talking to me. Um let’s see…We are FRIENDS, We are their parents, WE work together as a team on the parenting, and it was 29 degrees outside? I was being nice giving her a warm place to sit, allowing her to smoke, and was going to give her a ride to where she needed to go after my fiance was done with his visit.

DHS Controls Families!

Oregon DHS needs to stop trying to control families and work on their policies. They are terrible. Quit accusing people of things that they didn’t do. Especially in regards to myself and my fiance’. Kids belong home with their parents, especially when the parents are loving, caring, don’t hit them, etc. I could understand it if it was a drug home, but we are good Christian people who DHS has a bulls-eye on both our backs. Enough is enough. We want our kids home and we want them home now. We were cleared by DHS official Mr. Singh in 2012 by him stating our home was safe, we were good parents and he closed the previous case.

Children Playing

Children Playing

Now we are still fighting to get our kids back home where they belong. I seriously think something needs to be done about the DHS system especially Jordan Meyer and Kasey Gaylon. We have filed grievances against them both to no avail and also against Kelly Burns who was caught in a lie on a recording device accidentally. Our civil rights are being violated, I’m being discriminated because of being told I cannot park in a handicap spot up front of the building, when I have a legal handicap placard, and my fiance’ is being treated like a criminal and bad father. He’s not. I’m being accused of domestic violence against the kids, which never happened, DHS supposedly founded it, and they are treating me like a leper when I’ve done nothing wrong.

Kasey is going on the basis of a phone call made by my fiance’s mother, who was attempting to get me out of our home, so she could continue to live there. There was no police report filed, the boys were asleep in their room, and she is the one who brought our 13 year old daughter out of her room, into a verbal argument, which we both calmly asked Jessica to go back to her room, because we did not want her to have to be subjected to us talking about my fiance’s mother and her lack of responsibility and we were discussing visitations with the kids mom. My fiance’s mom was interjecting in the conversation, yelling at my fiance’ and then called the police.

His mother has a history of making bad choices in her life, by allowing her then 12 year old daughter to attempt sexually touching our then 5 year old daughter several years ago, and defended her 12 year old daughter by stating the 5 year old (Jessica) wanted it. Also against our wishes she has allowed them to talk to their cousin in our home behind our backs, feeding her information about what was going on in our home, after we removed her from our home, due to her lack of grand parenting skills.

We had also exiled the cousin from our home previously due to being inappropriate and discussing her “customers” with our then 12 year old. The cousin was removed from our home that day, with us in shock over her comments and told to never contact our family again or come on our property. The only contact the children are to have is with their mother, no other family members on her side of the family or my fiance’s mother is to have contact with the children because of their history. Why is Kasey still allowing them to talk to them?

We would like the in-home service plan drawn up that Kasey Gaylon has been promising, and for it to include the children coming home, for them and us to continue counseling like we did before. If she wants Maplestar or Options to come out, we do not have a problem with that, we have already completed her Options and Maplestar programs and home visits with positive results. We are also attending CAFA and are looking into counseling services etc out here in Sweet Home, which is where we reside. Court had ordered parenting classes and anger management, which we are taking together, a psych eval, and to maintain a safe home. We have done that.

Court Ordered Counseling

Now Kasey, with it not being court ordered is demanding that my fiance take counseling, per his psych evaluation, which has not even been read to him yet, due to weather conditions and rescheduling by Kasey. It was not court ordered why is she demanding it? Only to delay the children coming home longer. Kasey was placed onto this case after we had requested Trina removed from it, due to the personality issues she had and the way she was treating our daughter. We do not have a problem with them coming out once a month to do their in home visits, etc. Never had a problem with it before. We have made all efforts to do so, but Kasey chooses to ignore them. Previously to all this, we had the children in counseling at OCP, weekly visits with mentors, and family counseling with my fiance and I there. Again counselors supported us as good parents.

She does not allow us to discuss our home, the kids’ rooms, their animals, nothing. Only demands that we give her the clothes etc that they request. At Christmas time ordered us to only give our kids one gift each, and that it had to be under $50.00, refused to allow me to give the kids a gift, and refused visitation to me as well. This is ongoing with her. Her answer is I don’t want to talk about it or her.

She has deemed me unsafe in her personal opinion to be around the kids, but in a service plan it states per DHS discretion, and again in one prior it stated that I was not to be exiled from this. I’ve done nothing to the kids or to the family to warrant a founded allegation against me for domestic violence. She has one founded against me with all 4 kids. Based on hear say from my fiance’s mother. Like I said prior, I’ve been in domestic violence/anger management classes and parenting classes with my fiance’. Her evidence is still non-existent, and the courts did not agree with the founded allegation, but it is still founded.

Usually by now, parents have more than 1 day 1 hr visits, the worker is usually by now working on reunification with the family, has a In Home Service Plan drawn up , which she has told us she refuses to do, and the kids are working on coming home, but she doesn’t foresee that in the near future. If we have been doing everything the courts have ordered why not? please tell me why this is not being done by Kasey Gaylon? If her harassment and treating us like children, alienating me from the visits, etc continues, we would like to request another worker. One that has not thrown herself into the case and made it personal like she has.

My fiance’ has told her numerous times, I am part of this family, DHS has acknowledged that they are to work with me as well, and this has been ignored. “I’m not party to the case” is what we are told. I’ve been in this family almost 2 years, the children think of me as their step mom and I will continue to be part of their lives as a loving mother figure. Their biological mother agrees as well.

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Help bring Westin home…

July 12, 2012 in California, Child Protective Services, corruption, post parental termination

My parental rights were terminated by a referee in LANCASTER, CA on JUNE 25th 2012. I need to know if there is any way I can get my son back, or get visitation, it seems this situation is hopeless. Even if it is hopeless I will not rest until I know my son is okay.

I am trying to understand the appeal process and rehearing?  I don’t know which papers to file, and I can’t find a decent attorney that even gives a shit to even look at my case without a $10,000 retainer. I am not going to be ripped off by another whack job from honolulu that I trusted, but later find out he was never on my side all along.

I was tricked into signing a waiver of rights, and  was late for my TPR contested hearing and they proceeded to terminate my rights without me. I can’t even look at my own child’s file anymore. I will not give up! If I have to I will die fighting this unjust system.

We were not even granted a “goodbye visit.”   I never got the chance to explain to him what was going on, let alone talk to the judge throughout this whole case to tell my side of the story. The social worker would cut visits off if I even started to explain to him or tell him that I love him and will never give up on him, that was considered details of the case which we were never allowed to talk about.

Wes is 5 years old and was taken from me in Sept 2009. I’ve been fighting for 3 years to get him back.  But I am only a mother, one person against all these wolves. They don’t play fair, and I  didn’t go to any law school, and all this rules of court, welfare code, is a different language to me. My brain feels like it wants to explode. My heart feels shattered, and my soul is handicapped from the piece that is missing.

His father is in prison until 2014 and has only been established as the “alleged father” Because I had no idea he didn’t have rights until paternity was established, and I don’t have any clue on how to go about doing that.

I went through the rehab and parenting classes, and the grief counselling, and whatever else I understood the court asked me to do. And then they yanked everything I had been working for the past 9 months with one missed test. And with only a couple month to do what it had taken me almost a year to do, the Court ordered me to do it again.  My life has been hell ever since, even more now that I am not allowed to see my son anymore, and I don’t know if they have moved him again with another strange family.

Please do not excuse my pleading for help as just a request from another worthless drug addict that can’t take care of her kid, because that is what the record seem to look like and what society pictures when I try to explain the situation.

I now realize that they were building my character in the record from day one and the lies they told to make me look crazy to restrict visitation, so they could make visiting miserable only under their supervision.

My son is everything in my life, and they can’t deny that. Every visit up until the end was explained as excellent, and well planned for. In that alone should of been evidence enough to grant the “parent and child bond that would be detrimental to terminate”… but nobody seems to care about anything besides the money.

The department did not make “reasonable efforts” There is nothing reasonable about this whole thing. The department and adoption company “PennyLane” have put us both through hell, and set up obstacles to sabotage reunification. If you don’t believe me, just ask any parent that has been forced to prove themselves to the California juvenile court.

There was no evidence that this mother physically or emotionally abused her children, or neglected the children as to feeding, clothing and maintaining his health. Additionally, when initially contacted, and before intervention by the CPS, mother owned her own home, was not on public assistance, and the child was up to date on all immunizations, and thriving in the home.

I don’t know what evidence I had to show to these people to prove that. It would of been obvious to anyone that actually took the time to personally assess the situation, but it seems that this case is nothing but a file to be pushed on to the next guy, and just another number.

This is my sons life, and my life, and our family has been torn apart by this crazy system. It just almost seems unreal.

Can you please help me in the appropriate steps that I need to take for justice to be served? If you don’t believe that you can help please pass my information to anyone that might be able to help me.  I’ve got another promised date to enter another rehab in a couple weeks. Not sure if it will  do any good, since my rights have already been terminated.

I need the best appeal lawyer I can find as soon as possible that will not take no for an answer and he needs to have heart. I also need someone to personally explain all this procedure. Also, I wish for anyone to go over this case and find errors that are appealable. I also need a miracle.

Thank You for your time and concern, and God bless.

Respectfully,
Paula, California

Arizona Mom Needs Attorney

January 20, 2012 in Arizona, biological parents, family court, family rights

Hi. I need help. I was hoping that you would have some reputable attorneys who fight cps in the Phoenix Arizona area?

It’s been a year since I have seen my little boy who will be 7 years old next month. CPS took him away from me on July 4, 2009.

For a year in a half I did everything that CPS demanded of me. I took parenting classes, anger management classes, mental health classes. My visitations with my son went from 2 hours twice a week to 1 hour once a week.

My son is diagnosed with MMR, ADHD & ODD. He was placed in foster care but only until an adoptive placement took place. I have found out many of times the foster care family neglected my son’s health. When I notified my CPS case manager they didn’t do anything.

I am all alone with no family support. I don’t feel like I can trust just anybody anymore due to the fact I trusted my state and they conspired against us (my son and I).

I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I think of my son every second of every day. I feel guilty because I allowed the state into our lives because I had nothing to hide and they straight up lied about me. I am a good mom. My son is my world!

When I did have supervised visits, my son never wanted to go back to his foster parents. He always wanted to come home with me. The psychologist hired by CPS said to the court that my son doesn’t think of me as an authoritive parent but just a playmate because I only wanted to make the hour I had with my son happy.

I feel like I have a strong case against CPS but I cannot afford an expensive attorney. Can you please help me find an attorney who will listen to my story and help me. I feel so alone.  My son is in a group home now. I am frightened for my son to be all alone in this big scary world at the tender age of 7 years old. I just want to protect him and give him the same opportunity every child has at becoming an successful, honest adult. I want him to know that I love him and will never give up on him.

I don’t use drugs and I have never been in trouble with the law before CPS wrongfully accused me of child abuse neglect.

Please, please help me.

Sent from my LG phone

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Parenting a Liar…

November 1, 2011 in foster care, foster parents, Kidjacked, parent-child relationship

Do you have a child who lies for no apparent reason? You aren’t alone and you could be a big part of the problem, which means you can help.

A woman typing on a laptop

Foster kids need computers too

Before you get all indignant, please understand, I believe some children have what I think of, as a “lying gene,” and lying simply comes natural to these children. Children who have been moved around from foster care home to foster care home, will often take on a new identity, when they realize they are living with complete strangers and can become anyone they wish. In these cases, lying becomes a way of life.

These foster children are the ones the system likes to label as RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) children. Children in foster care soon learn to keep people at a distance and will have trust issues. Who can blame them? You can’t wear your heart on your sleeve without having it repeatedly broken by a heartless uncaring system, where the individual gets chewed up in the grinding of the system.

I can remember carrying everything I own in a paper bag. I’m certain many foster care children are thrilled to receive suitcases from churches, schools and other charitable organizations that have donation drives for foster kids. It would be wonderful if more could be done for these children. It’s too bad most foster care children never receive the benefits of things done in their name — such as donations for laptops.

Just how long do you think a child alone, left to the mercy of the system, will be able to keep a $1,000 laptop — or even a $250 notebook? If they aren’t stolen by a foster family member or foster parent, the temptation to sell it for cash or even drugs (if they are an issue) is great.

Getting back to the child with the imaginary “lying gene”

Learning how to better approach the child, can drastically increase his or her truth-telling. If you have one child, this is much easier, because you know who “did it,” you don’t have to play investigator. So, insteading of asking the child, “Who left the toilet seat up?” You simply say, “Please don’t leave the seat up on the toilet.”

As parents of a child with lying issues, it’s easy to get into the bad habit of asking questions that we already know the answers to. When we learn to rephrase our questions, or avoid asking a question all-together, we can help avoid the temptation to lie.  Often with a little thought and an attitude change, you can help your child feel better about his or herself and break the cycle of lying.

It is up to the parent to demonstrate good moral fortitude. Be sure your child hears you being honest. Take the time to continually express the importance on honestly. The Bible can serve as a useful tool in training your child in honesty. Ask your child to read, memorize, copy and recite from this list of scripture verses on honesty.

You can choose to tolerate your child’s lying, which can and often will continue as a pattern into adulthood or you can choose to change your parenting style and address the issue — the earlier the better. If you have a child who is constantly lying, don’t give up — get help.

 [Download: Bible Lesson on Truth and Lies (pdf)]

Click Here to Stop the Yelling • Lecturing • Scolding Pushing and Prodding
and Start Getting The Results You Want

Teaching Honesty to our Children

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