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Jumping Through Hoops

April 11, 2016 in child abuse, Child Protective Services, CPS

Please pray for this family.  This is so unfair.

I am currently in the midst of a life destroying case with the Hamilton CPS. The man who is overseeing this is named Tom Irvine. This man is not looking out for what’s best for my children or myself, I am being treated like a criminal and drug addict even though I have zero history with the law on both accounts. I would like to tell you my story and request please that this man’s job and professionalism be looked into. Or at least my case be handled by someone with a heart and better logical outlook.

cps-meme In November, my boyfriend of 4 years picked my children up from daycare and took them to his house. This is not unusual because Gabe (my boyfriend) cares for my children 40% of the time my children all call him daddy. An incident happened and Gabe had to punish my youngest son. I’m not condoning what he did and if I was there things would have went differently but I was not there. We do not live together nor do we even live in the same town. Gabe struck my child on his face and left a nasty bruise. My youngest was questioned at school and he said that his daddy did it and Gabe got arrested.

Then CPS decided that that was not enough apparently and refused to allow me to then go home with my own children they were accusing me of knowing of the abuse and turning a blind eye when I had done nothing but cooperate with them the entire day. I had to either have my children stay at my mom’s or have someone sign a protection order and volunteer to be with me every second I was with my children for the next 30 days or my children had to go to foster care.

Fight Child Protective Services and Win I was irate, how dare they treat me like I had struck my child myself and/or watched as Gabe did it. Like I said I wasn’t even in the same town when it happened. I reluctantly agreed and found a friend with no life but to supervise me with my own flesh and blood. The 30 day protection order was done December 24th. My friend who signed up for this his name is James and is the only other person in the meeting with the CPS besides myself.

CPS never once said anything to me or him about this continuing beyond the 30 days. I never received any emails or calls or paperwork on anything else, nobody contacted me beyond December. Both of us believed that I had fulfilled my half and it was over on my end. (Why would we think otherwise.)

In January, CPS gave Gabe back his visitation rights with his own biological child as long as he had a friend sign on, to be there to supervise, why would they do this if they thought Gabe such a threat? This also says out loud to the rest of us that the case is slowly starting to be over on his end as well.

In February, I became wicked sick and was unable to care for myself let alone my children. I did not know at the time but I had beginning stages of pneumonia, I have asthma on top of that and could not breath well enough to even make it down my hallway. Gabe has been my only support forever he is not a bad person just doesn’t know what to do with his anger sometimes. He called the cps office many times trying to get them to hook him up with parenting classes, anger management, something so that he could get his family back and nobody would help him.

He looked this stuff up online himself, he called the anger management and enrolled himself and was there every Monday evening doing homework, (Gabe does not do homework). He begged me to give him another chance to let him show me that he can change. I have known Gabe for a long time and I have never seen him like this a shell of the cocky tall standing man that I once knew.

How To Get My Kids Back From Child Protective ServicesWe had a family and life together, bills and assets intertwined and I agreed to let him help me. So in February, when I became so sick Gabe came over to help me just like he would have at any other times. He made supper washed and tucked the kids in bed said prayers and everything was perfect. The next morning he got up early and packed the kids cold lunch and dropped them off at school.

My youngest then proud said to his teacher look my daddy made me cold lunch. The police then came and arrested Gabe and the next day cps came and removed my children. Now if that’s not crazy enough on that day was the first day this Tom Irvine had ever met me before in his life, he comes into my home with another lady planning on giving me a drug test right then and there as they are removing my children.

I was volatile and uncooperative, but what do you expect when you are stripping away my reason for living. The drug test was not done, I would have refused anyway based on the fact that I have zero drug history with the law and this is an abuse case not a drug case. The next day or so he tells me that if I come in and sign papers and agree to treatment that this would all be over faster. “Treatment for what?” I ask him. He doesn’t answer.

I’m not voluntarily going in and saying yes I’m on drugs just because you say it will look good on my behalf like I’m cooperating or something. How does that make sense? That can only screw me further. I will take a pee test and it will be clean there is no reason for treatment. I have never been arrested nor in jail for anything ever and do not appreciate being treated like a criminal from the get go.

They branded me as being non cooperative and forced my children into saying things that they wanted to hear and then they used my own children against me and nothing in my life has been more heartbreaking than that. If you dig enough into any body’s lives your going to find indiscretions they dug up and said terrible things about me. Letters were send to my kids elementary school to daycare and to my son’s physical therapy. I can’t pick them up, I can’t drop them off, I can’t even be seen alone with them.

Any amount of reputation I have created since moving to Montana was destroyed in an instant. Why am I being treated like I abused my children myself. The elementary school told me that if I call them again it’ll be considered harassment. Just two weeks previous to that I was in that school sitting around the table with the principal that counselor another counselor and my daughters teacher, I was a great mom then my daughter was taking leaps and bounds above where she started out everything was going fine and we were all patting ourselves on the back for a job well done and now they are having my kids write their valentine’s cards to grandma like mommy no longer exists. I can’t even breathe this is so unreal.

My lawyer then became super sick and had to have emergency surgery is was unaware of this all in knew is that I could not get a hold of her. Tom knew this, he told my lawyer that he would tell me of our upcoming court date. He then took liberties with my children and myself that I do not think would have happened if my lawyer had not been in the hospital.

He called me in for a meeting and I sat with him for a half hour hashing our case out and he never once said anything about my lawyer being in the hospital nor did he tell me of my upcoming court date. He did ask me please, “He said do not contest this in court because it will only make it worse.” You don’t want me to fight for my children I ask?

That makes no sense mostly because I have never done anything wrong in my life and I feel like this is a great injustice. And my children are my only life without them in have nothing of course I’m going to fight for my reason to breathe. He explains to me how he is 100% sure that they are going to win and that I should just cooperate.

I explain to him once again that it’s not just taking temporary custody from me it’s taking everything from me. If I loose temporary custody I loose my son’s social security, I loose child support, therefore and I’m not exaggerating I loose my home, I loose my car I literally loose everything that I have. Is it your policy to render people homeless? I beg for an alterative the crime does not fit the punishment. Tom will not listen he is so focused on winning this case that it is overlapping what should be common human decency. And by not telling me of my upcoming court date I would have missed my court appearance and CPS would have won by default. That is simply unprofessional.

Since my lawyer is recovering from surgery she requested that we push forward our court date once again. Now my court date is going to be after Easter weekend and I’m devastated. I asked my mom to ask this Tom guy, (because he won’t work with me on anything) if I can have my children for Easter weekend I wish to take them to the Easter egg hunt. I have been begging to let the same person that signed on for the 30 to sign on again to be my supervision for whatever amount of time they decree and he won’t even discuss it.

We ask if this person (James) can sign on for Easter weekend at least and now Tom said no, because they believe that James knew that I was sneaking Gabe in and did not report it — an outright lie. Tom knows that James is my only person who can do this for me and he also knows that James is my only witness that I have that is going to stand up in court saying that CPS never once informed me that they would take away custody if I let Gabe in my house past that 30 day protection order. But most of all Gabe and James are competing for the same woman and have never been in the same place at the same time.

Now that they have eliminated James from the equations I have nobody and they know it. Also it’s Easter weekend do I not have any basic emotional rights. If I myself was not the person to strike my child then why can I not be alone with them they are my children my blood my family and nothing in this world is more important to me. I just want this to be over I just want to celebrate Easter.

My youngest birthday is in two weeks and I’m crying right now just thinking about what kind of crap they are going to pull for that as well. I am not a criminal the only thing I am guilty of is being under informed and I feel like the Hamilton CPS office should then be guilty as well for not doing their job correctly. Please I do not deserve to loose everything I have over something that I did not do. My children just want to come home.

 

Monique B.
Ravalli County, Montana

 

Help Needed in Colorado

May 10, 2013 in Colorado, corruption, DSS

This mother has written me asking for advice, I have given it.  What is so frustrating is that people still go along with the program, until they don’t know what else to do, then they contact us.

This family did everything wrong… Do you have any advice for them now?

A 9 year old and 3 year old in Colorado using ...

On November 6, 2012, DSS took all four of my children because my 8 year old went to school and told them I gave him a black eye. Officers took my children to foster care based on the allegations of my son.

DSS sends my kids home, 20 days later after we agreed to do a parenting plan. It has been 6 months and my husband and I have complied with everything they asked, psych evaluations, individual therapy, in home counseling and CASA…

(Throughout all this we find out that our son who is 8 has Asperger’s syndrome based on a psych evaluation that DSS had done proved that my son cannot tell difference between fantasy and reality and that he doesn’t know the difference between truth and lie.)

We went into court 2 weeks ago and the judge decided that the case will be closed June 24 2013, as soon as we got resources for our son’s disability.

Last Wednesday my 8 year old goes to school with deep scratches on his neck and says his dad hit him with a baby hanger. Our worker decided without investigating that all our children were in immediate danger and had to be removed from our home. Now our case worker says if we agree to another case plan they will let the kids come home.

Me and my husband now want to fight this so our children are not ripped out of our home again. We refuse to go through any more of this. Did I mention that in one medical record that that my 8 year old admits to lying about abuse to get what he wants. Even our own case worker admits that he has lied to him about abuse.

What if anything can you do to help us? We know we have to get our side of the story on record and that by signing the agreement we are pleading guilty to abuse. Help us please!

D.V. in Pueblo, Colorado

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Catch More Flies

January 1, 2013 in CPS, DFS, family court

A determined young lady has written dozens of e-mails over the past couple of weeks – many of them were simply horrendous (sorry girl). This letter was written in response to one of them.

Dear Friend,

I have provided links, advice and legal resources on Kidjacked. My phone and e-mail are being blown up with requests for help and questions galore. I am sorry but I do this in my spare time and frankly I don’t have much of that.

I maintain over 200 websites (both ours and our clients websites) — my husband and I work from home. The only money I make from Kidjacked comes from the ads that are found on each page (and we only get paid when someone actually clicks on an ad – DO NOT click ads to make us money, though, only ever click the ads you’re actually interested in).

Where are all the kids?

Where are all the kids?

I wish that I could do this full-time and be there to walk everyone through the steps they need to take to fight their cases, but the fact is I simply don’t have that kind of time and most people can’t afford to pay me for it. I have never asked anyone for a dime for myself or my family — and we are not wealthy. Heck, we drive a 1999 vehicle that we will drive until the tires fall off.

I will offer you my best advice:

  • When e-mailing your lawyer, your caseworker and others, it is crucial that you avoid threatening them in any way, no matter how badly you want to serve them their head on a platter.
  • Each and every letter or e-mail should be checked for spelling, grammar and content. (Put your best face forward.) This information can and often is presented in court and can be used against you.
  • Grandma always said you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Your letters and telephone calls need to be eloquent, yet firm. There is always a way to get your point across without being crude and insulting. Practice until you get it right!
  • Enlist your friends and relatives to help with your research. Have someone else read your letters before you send them off and edit them if necessary. Censor yourself. Seek the council of others who have fought the system and won their case. Don Lyons fought and was able to get his children returned. He wrote a book about it. Purchase or borrow books like his. [Get the book now: Kids For Money]
  • Form local support groups [Use the box under the calendar to select your state, then scroll to the bottom of the page.]
  • Picket your local court. Hand out pamphlets; they are easy to create. Be sure to include the URL to Kidjacked.com. Spread the word and join with others.
  • Request letters of recommendation from friends, family, professionals (doctors, pastors, co-workers) who know you and your family; present them in court. Make copies for your attorney and caseworkers.
  • Know the laws in your state. Become an expert in CPS guidelines and regulations. File an official complaint when those laws and guidelines are violated. Each State or County has their own regulations they are required to follow. The only way to force an investigation is to file an official complaint. Often the complaint procedure is available online, if not you must request the information directly from CPS — they are required by law to provide it to you.
  • Most county agencies have an “ombudsman” you can contact to assist you. Some are helpful and other are not. It’s worth a shot to try.
  • If you discover CPS agents are not in compliance with the laws in your state (or county), you can contact your congressman. The U.S. House of Representatives is responsible for oversight of the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS). Visit the website, locate your representative by using the list or search functions on the site. Call their office, ask to speak to the aide who handles DHHS issues. Briefly explain your situation and the violations that have occurred. Do not go into your entire case history.The aide will request you fax or mail your supporting documentation and a release form, which allows the aide to investigate your allegations. Requesting an investigation is often enough to force CPS to clean up their act because they will receive notification that they are under investigation along with the allegations made against them.
  • You’ve heard it said the squeaky wheel gets the grease. It’s true. Be polite and be firm, but don’t stop. If you can turn up the heat on CPS workers, they will often dismiss their case against you out of pure frustration and fear. You must make it more costly to keep your children in custody or harass you than it is for them to send them home and leave you alone. This means keeping on the pressure.

I have spent over an hour writing this e-mail. I will be posting it on “Jacked Up,” the Kidjacked blog in hopes that this information will be helpful to others.

I wish you well in handling your case. Please send me an occasional update (written “ready to post”) and I will be happy to post the information to Kidjacked, in hopes that the information will provide encouragement and details that will assist other parents in gaining the return of their children. None of us can do it all alone but if we each pitch in and do our part, we can make a difference.

This is my small part.

Best wishes!

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Failure To Thrive

October 11, 2011 in CPS, drugs, False Allegations, medication

Child protection agencies (CPS), will often charge parents with “failure to thrive.” I’ve personally been involved with a couple of local cases – one case the child actually had a genetic predisposition toward low-weight gain.

The Marketing of Madness: Are we all insane?I’ve spent the entire day watching and re-watching a documentary called The Marketing of Madness: Are We All Insane?. I’ve discovered something that might be helpful to parents who are, or have been charged with failure to thrive in their infant.

According to The Marketing of Madness: Are we all insane?, infants of mothers who were prescribed certain anti-depressants or psychotropic drugs during pregnancy, can experience withdrawal symptoms after birth. One of the side-effects of withdrawal is weigh loss and could mistakenly be misdiagnosed in infants as failure to thrive.

Parents fighting charges of failure to thrive, could be dealing with an infant suffering through withdrawal of these dangerous drugs, if the mother was being treated during pregnancy. Signs of withdrawal include:

  • irritability
  • hyperactivity
  • abnormal sleep patterns
  • vomiting
  • diarrhea
  • failure to gain weight

Be sure to obtain documentation from your physician and hire an expert, if you can afford one. Be sure to save a copy of this documentation for your attorney to use in your defense at court.

Marketing of Madness Official Trailer

Watch the full-length documentary online for FREE!
The Marketing of Madness: Are We All Insane?

Divorce and the Children

July 30, 2011 in domestic violence, family court, parent-child relationship

With about two million people getting divorced every year in the United States alone, and one and a half million children affected by these divorces, there’s clearly an urgent need to get through this process with dignity, respect and compassion. Unfortunately, this does not always happen and, as a result, children suffer. It’s in the news everyday and transcends social class.

Divorce Happens – This Doctor Helps Protect The Innocence Of Children
And Teaches Parents How To Minimize The Damage

July 30, 2011 – Dr. Mark Robert Banschick designed The Intelligent Divorce book series and The Online Family Stabilization Course as a way to help divorcing parents avoid the common mistakes that end up hurting children during a divorce. The mission of the project is to teach parents how to raise well-adjusted children despite the pressures that divorce puts on everyone.

Video: “It’s Working Out”

A blueprint that every adult should use as they go through a divorce, The Intelligent Divorce advocates on behalf of kids through books, an online course, seminars and a media campaign. Based on hundreds of case studies, current research and decades of experience, Dr. Banschick teaches parents how to handle divorce with dignity, strength and intelligence.

The first book in the series, Taking Care of Your Children (2010), focuses on the well being of kids by teaching parents effective communication strategies that help them gauge how their children are doing with the divorce. And, if their child is in trouble, Dr. Banschick’s pragmatic approach teaches parents how to make a positive difference.

The second book, Taking Care of Yourself (2011), helps parents take control of their lives by handling anger, pain and anxiety more productively; learning about finances and healthier living; and dealing realistically with the world of attorneys, therapists and difficult ex-spouses. On this note, the third book, scheduled to come out in 2012, centers around Dealing with a Difficult Ex.

Mark R. Banschick, M.D. is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. The Intelligent Divorce project evolved from his work as an expert witness in custody disputes. Dr. Banschick has appeared on the CBS Early Show, The Ricki Lake Show, WCBS TV Morning News, and has been quoted in The New York Times, Divorcemagazine.com, firstwivesworld.com, and regularly contributes to the Huffington Post.

Dr. Banschick is currently working with a production company on a sample pilot television show designed to educate the public about divorcing with your children in mind, despite the difficult feelings and power struggles that come with the territory.

For the two million people divorcing each year in this country and the one and a half million children who are affected, The Intelligent Divorce is a project worth pursuing. As part of a public outreach effort, Dr. Banschick is open to media contact and interviews on topics of divorce and parenting.

For more information please visit Dr. Banschick’s website, www.TheIntelligentDivorce.com

Cathy Meyer, Founder, DivorcedWomenOnLine.com: “It isn’t merely a book; it’s a tool that anyone going through a divorce should be required to implement. It belongs on the desk of all divorce lawyers, judges, child psychologists, and every divorced or divorcing parent.”

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