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Divorce and the Children

July 30, 2011 in domestic violence, family court, parent-child relationship

With about two million people getting divorced every year in the United States alone, and one and a half million children affected by these divorces, there’s clearly an urgent need to get through this process with dignity, respect and compassion. Unfortunately, this does not always happen and, as a result, children suffer. It’s in the news everyday and transcends social class.

Divorce Happens – This Doctor Helps Protect The Innocence Of Children
And Teaches Parents How To Minimize The Damage

July 30, 2011 – Dr. Mark Robert Banschick designed The Intelligent Divorce book series and The Online Family Stabilization Course as a way to help divorcing parents avoid the common mistakes that end up hurting children during a divorce. The mission of the project is to teach parents how to raise well-adjusted children despite the pressures that divorce puts on everyone.

Video: “It’s Working Out”

A blueprint that every adult should use as they go through a divorce, The Intelligent Divorce advocates on behalf of kids through books, an online course, seminars and a media campaign. Based on hundreds of case studies, current research and decades of experience, Dr. Banschick teaches parents how to handle divorce with dignity, strength and intelligence.

The first book in the series, Taking Care of Your Children (2010), focuses on the well being of kids by teaching parents effective communication strategies that help them gauge how their children are doing with the divorce. And, if their child is in trouble, Dr. Banschick’s pragmatic approach teaches parents how to make a positive difference.

The second book, Taking Care of Yourself (2011), helps parents take control of their lives by handling anger, pain and anxiety more productively; learning about finances and healthier living; and dealing realistically with the world of attorneys, therapists and difficult ex-spouses. On this note, the third book, scheduled to come out in 2012, centers around Dealing with a Difficult Ex.

Mark R. Banschick, M.D. is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. The Intelligent Divorce project evolved from his work as an expert witness in custody disputes. Dr. Banschick has appeared on the CBS Early Show, The Ricki Lake Show, WCBS TV Morning News, and has been quoted in The New York Times,,, and regularly contributes to the Huffington Post.

Dr. Banschick is currently working with a production company on a sample pilot television show designed to educate the public about divorcing with your children in mind, despite the difficult feelings and power struggles that come with the territory.

For the two million people divorcing each year in this country and the one and a half million children who are affected, The Intelligent Divorce is a project worth pursuing. As part of a public outreach effort, Dr. Banschick is open to media contact and interviews on topics of divorce and parenting.

For more information please visit Dr. Banschick’s website,

Cathy Meyer, Founder, “It isn’t merely a book; it’s a tool that anyone going through a divorce should be required to implement. It belongs on the desk of all divorce lawyers, judges, child psychologists, and every divorced or divorcing parent.”

Persecuted by LA CPS

January 10, 2011 in California, CPS

The family is under siege, with no apparent relief in sight. I receive letters like the one below, almost every single day. The story is always the same — only the names and the places are different. Something has to change. Our nations heritage is as stake.

You can’t just remove a child from everything he/she has ever known — and turn the child’s entire LIFE upside down and expect everything to turn out just fine. It just won’t happen. We gain our identity from those who know and love us. Millions of children are being adopted out to strangers. Many of these children will spend years trying to hunt down their biological parents — some will never have the chance to truly know who they are.

Our family with four children has been persecuted by the Department of Children and Family Services in LA County for the last 12 months based on manufactured evidence.

The criminal activities of the DCFS are endorsed and supported by the Dependency Court.

Our children, all under the age of 11, have been in 6 foster homes and 5 school systems in the last 12 months, my business is ruined and my wife is on the verge of total emotional breakdown.

DCFS is corrupt and money-driven. I would not have believed that something like this was possible in the USA.

Alex K.,
Los Angeles, CA

Change the culture of foster care

July 1, 2010 in California, Child Protective Services, corruption, due process, Michigan

Vivek S. Sankaran hits the nail on the head with her article, “Change the culture of the foster care system,” posted today in The Detroit News. She said in part:

Change foster care

Wayne County recently joined cities across the country and celebrated the first national Reunification Day to recognize the accomplishments of those who help parents regain custody of children lost to the foster care system.

For years, the goal of reunifying children in foster care with their families has received short shrift. Even though most children come to the attention of child protective services for allegations of neglect, far too many are removed abruptly from their homes and placed with strangers.

Once in foster care, they see their parents and siblings infrequently, change placements too often and receive inadequate medical and mental health treatment. Their parents rarely receive the help they need and they lack a meaningful voice in court.

All of this does enormous harm to the children. Foster care is a toxic intervention that must be used sparingly. An MIT study revealed that outcomes for children in foster care were far worse than similarly maltreated children who remained at home.

There it is in black and white. From MIT, a study that shows outcomes for children in foster care are far worse than similarly maltreated children who remained at home.

Most courts up until this point have been filled with parents, pleading, crying and demanding their children be returned. It won’t be long until the courts are filled with angry, former foster children bringing lawsuits against the state for wrongful removal. The lives that have been destroyed are in the millions. Sankaran goes on to point out some other very interesting facts:

No state system passed recent federal audits evaluating the treatment of foster children in state custody.

These problems are particularly troublesome in Michigan. In 2008, only a third of children who exited foster care were returned to their parents, nearly 20 percentage points below the national average. And the time it takes for Michigan to reunify those families is double the national average.

In contrast, Michigan is swift and efficient at separating children from their parents forever. Our state has the seventh highest rate of terminating parental rights in the country. Michigan has the second largest population of “legal orphans” — children whose only parent is the state.

I haven’t checked but if I had to wager a bet. My money would be on California having the largest population of legal orphans. We remove more children from their parents than any other state in the country.

This is simply unacceptable.

Did you know that in most states a child has five years after his or her 18th birthday to bring legal action against the state? You can bet that most foster children have no idea they have a legal cause of action for their treatment while in foster care, more so, if they were wrongly removed.

The only way I believe we are going to get the attention of our government is to make it too expensive for them to steal our children. Money talks and it’s time they pay up for all the lives who have been destroyed by their evil deeds. Yes, folks, I said it. There is no other way around it. These people are just plain evil.

Kinship Care Revoked

June 18, 2010 in Arizona, CPS, Washington

Kinship Care

I am a kinship provider to a grandchild. The parents have turned over their parental rights and our case is going into permanency planning. CPS asked us to adopt this child.

When the biological father heard about this (he lives in Arizona and has had little contact with anyone this entire three years we have cared for our grandson) he protested and stated that his parents were better to care for him. CPS is taking his side as we have a new social worker and my grandson wants to live with his father, as is natural for a child to want to live with a parent.

I wish I could start my own blog but I have posted a few concerns on line before and someone brought it to the attention of CPS. I defended what I wrote, but of course then I wasn’t on their list of bffs. So they see me as a meddling foster parent who they want to get out of the picture. After all these years I am now facing losing my grandson.

You may think that we have done something to deserve this, but I assure you we have not. I can give you an issue by issue list of the things we have done to follow the plan but you’re just gonna believe me or not.

My point of this email… CPS is watching. They are taking note of everything we do on line and using it to make their case – even when, especially when, they are dead wrong.

They are about to move a child into a family with active addiction, no job and I could go on. So, this nightmare continues…

I have reached out for help to numerous agencies, lawyers, politicians and supervisors, nothing. So I am giving it over to God and hope that the truth, the real truth, will be revealed. Thanks and I wish you the best.

Sam T.,

Cotton Conspiracy

May 21, 2007 in China, foster care, He Case, Tennessee

For years now the He family has been splintered, forced to live a sort of half-life. Never really living, with one foot held in a suspended animation that couldn’t possibly be real. The other foot going through the motions of life, working, sleeping, eating in a sort of funk that never goes away.

Struggling to create a new identity in a strange land. Mr. and Mrs. He fought to regain the right — from the state of Tennessee, when they lost their child to a Christian couple who tried to take what didn’t belong to them.

Kidjacked has supported the efforts to reunited Anna Mae with her family and I do mean “her” family. This is the family she was meant to have, one that no one can ever take away from you, even if you never speak to your sister.

Today’s news just blew me away. Get this…

“It is exciting to learn China is gradually becoming Tennessee’s biggest buyer in cotton and related business.”

“In 2006, China bought more than $1.8 billion of Tennessee goods, making it the No. 3 customer between Canada and Mexico.”

An E-mail from the He’s brags:

To capitalize on the synergy, Gov. Bredesen announced Tennessee will open an economic development office in Beijing in his October visit as part of trade delegation to China. Since 2001, Chinese Embassy has been monitoring AMH custody case.

The day after the $500 million deal was signed by Chinese buyers in Tenn., Mr. and Mrs. He (Jack and Casey) sent an email of appreciation to The Chinese Embassy in Washington, expressing their best wishes for the success and cooperation between China and Tenn., a great state where justice prevails.

These statements indicate to me that there may have been some serious negotiating between the state of Tennessee and certain Chinese officials. Did the Chinese buy back a child? Did the state of Tennessee hold a child hostage for a deal to sell cotton, providing much needed job for the impoverished textile industry?

If it walks like a duck, smells like a duck, then the theory is – it’s a duck.

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