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Divorce and the Children

July 30, 2011 in domestic violence, family court, parent-child relationship

With about two million people getting divorced every year in the United States alone, and one and a half million children affected by these divorces, there’s clearly an urgent need to get through this process with dignity, respect and compassion. Unfortunately, this does not always happen and, as a result, children suffer. It’s in the news everyday and transcends social class.

Divorce Happens – This Doctor Helps Protect The Innocence Of Children
And Teaches Parents How To Minimize The Damage

July 30, 2011 – Dr. Mark Robert Banschick designed The Intelligent Divorce book series and The Online Family Stabilization Course as a way to help divorcing parents avoid the common mistakes that end up hurting children during a divorce. The mission of the project is to teach parents how to raise well-adjusted children despite the pressures that divorce puts on everyone.

Video: “It’s Working Out”

A blueprint that every adult should use as they go through a divorce, The Intelligent Divorce advocates on behalf of kids through books, an online course, seminars and a media campaign. Based on hundreds of case studies, current research and decades of experience, Dr. Banschick teaches parents how to handle divorce with dignity, strength and intelligence.

The first book in the series, Taking Care of Your Children (2010), focuses on the well being of kids by teaching parents effective communication strategies that help them gauge how their children are doing with the divorce. And, if their child is in trouble, Dr. Banschick’s pragmatic approach teaches parents how to make a positive difference.

The second book, Taking Care of Yourself (2011), helps parents take control of their lives by handling anger, pain and anxiety more productively; learning about finances and healthier living; and dealing realistically with the world of attorneys, therapists and difficult ex-spouses. On this note, the third book, scheduled to come out in 2012, centers around Dealing with a Difficult Ex.

Mark R. Banschick, M.D. is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. The Intelligent Divorce project evolved from his work as an expert witness in custody disputes. Dr. Banschick has appeared on the CBS Early Show, The Ricki Lake Show, WCBS TV Morning News, and has been quoted in The New York Times,,, and regularly contributes to the Huffington Post.

Dr. Banschick is currently working with a production company on a sample pilot television show designed to educate the public about divorcing with your children in mind, despite the difficult feelings and power struggles that come with the territory.

For the two million people divorcing each year in this country and the one and a half million children who are affected, The Intelligent Divorce is a project worth pursuing. As part of a public outreach effort, Dr. Banschick is open to media contact and interviews on topics of divorce and parenting.

For more information please visit Dr. Banschick’s website,

Cathy Meyer, Founder, “It isn’t merely a book; it’s a tool that anyone going through a divorce should be required to implement. It belongs on the desk of all divorce lawyers, judges, child psychologists, and every divorced or divorcing parent.”

DFCS, ‘Your Daddy is in Jail.’

July 21, 2010 in DFCS, Georgia

I am not really sure where to begin, but here in Murray county (northwest Georgia) you don’t really need evidence to take a child away and convict a person, you just need some kids (who have made false allegations before) to make allegations, and ignorant people to listen to them.

My Daddy's in Jail?

They came up with a plan; even wrote a note telling one of the others what to say, at a child advocacy center with paper thin walls, so that each child can hear what the child before them said. (Yes, this was recorded at lovely Green House CAC) by a vindictive family that knows its way around the system (they have always been in it).

My husband and I have been caring for 6 children for several years now. He and his ex-wife had 4, one passed away shortly after birth, and it drove the mother to a life of alcohol and drugs. The mothers family only mad attempts to be involved in the family when they benefited from it, like at tax time and stuff like that.

Well, we also had one child of our own and two nieces, which were placed with us under the Kinship care program. We moved here from Columbus, GA to keep them from seeing how their mother was killing herself, and to keep them from the gang life. We left the youngest of his older three with the mother because the mother would do anything for her, that is where she wanted to be and we did not want to force her.

A few months after moving, we received a phone call from the mother; a very vulgar phone call about how this 9-year-old girl was a lying whore, she had told DFCS that a friend’s stepfather had raped her and her friend; well it turned out to be a plot to live in a foster home together.

We immediately drove down to pick her up; the mother had been spending weekends in jail and the child was home alone, free to run around in an undesirable neighborhood with no supervision. None of the children liked living here, they said that there were too many “Hicks” here and everyone was unintelligent. These children were very smart; loved to read my college textbooks and always asked if I would copy any homework pages so they could attempt to complete the assignment.

I never stopped my children from excelling (yes I say my children, I raised them for 6 years).

When we would not allow them to stay with their mom they decided to call The Division of Family and Children Services (DFCS) with the same allegations that the youngest of the three had used before, and it worked. I have lost my little girl, and now my nieces are going through the adoption process, to be forever removed from our family and heritage.

This is what our tax money does for us! My baby keeps asking if her daddy is in jail, or dead, and all I permitted to say is, “Baby, your daddy loves you.” I am monitored at all times, because they think I am going to tell my 4 year old something. They have her convinced that Daddy is in Jail! My husband is safe and at home with me, fighting for his little girl.

With one last note, custody of his three eldest was awarded to their mother’s mother, but she doesn’t have them, their mother does.

D.B. from Georgia

A Soldiers Battle

May 22, 2010 in DCFS, False Allegations, Georgia

An American soldier who is nine (9) months pregnant with her second child attempts to defend herself against a physical attack from her angry boyfriend in the presence of her eight-year-old daughter.

A Soldier's Battle

During this attempt the soldier frantically searches her purse for her cell phone to contact 911. She cannot seem to locate the phone so she pulls her weapon, to scare off the angry boyfriend.  In a frenzied state of shock, the soldier attempts to ensure that the weapon is on safe causing the weapon to go off in the opposite direction. 

The soldier tells the boyfriend that she cannot continue to do this with him; that she wants to end the relationship; and that she was taking her daughter and unborn son away from him and the tumultuous relationship. The boyfriend, out of anger and fear of not being able to see his son, takes the weapon from the soldier, calls 911 and reports that his girlfriend just came to his apartment in an angry rage and shot up his apartment. 

To add insult to injury, the boyfriend falsely reported to police, upon their arrival, that the soldier had anger and mental issues. He also stated that this soldier almost shot her own daughter. This soldier was charged with a cruelty to children charge among other charges and arrested. The cruelty to children charge was later dropped less than a month later. 

However, due to the initial incident, this soldier’s daughter was taken into DFCS custody. Upon her refusal to give her unborn son at the hospital into DFCS custody, both this soldier’s children were placed into foster care. 

This soldier was never given the opportunity to bond with her son (who was taken at the hospital). Later the court granted temporary custody of this soldier’s son to the boyfriend in exchange for his testimony against the soldier – where he had earlier testified for the soldier  that his initial statement to the police was out of anger, but because DFCS initially refused to give him custody he later, at another hearing changed his testimony. 

The judge who handled this matter (Who was DFCS’s previous SAAG attorney) also ordered that the soldier have no contact with the child while he was in the custody of the boyfriend. 

Now this soldier is no longer able to see her own son.  The courts are also pushing for termination of this soldier’s parental rights to her daughter and refusing to give daughter to family members as they have persistently requested. 

In addition, this soldier’s constitutional rights were violated and she was threatened that she will never see her children again if she did not sign certain documents, keep her mouth shut, and stop filing complaints. The soldier was coerced to comply.

Soldier gets tanked

Meanwhile, her daughter’s desires and request were blatantly being ignored in the name of looking out for the best interest of the child.  The daughter is dealing with anxiety and depression from being separated from her mother (the soldier) and being refused treatment by state workers, she has been moved and placed into four different foster care homes- two of those moves were due to physical and emotional abuse by the foster care provider.

Instead of this soldier receiving the support that she need from her Chain of Command, this soldier was alienated, defamed, and shown no loyalty from those with whom she served. After constant malicious accusations, false reports of behavior, and unauthorized contact (protected under privacy act) with the military, the Department of Family and Children Service successfully ended this soldiers military career of almost 14 years of unquestionable service.

This soldier was separated without proper medical treatment for depression arising from the previously mentioned events. This veteran is still fighting to regain custody of her children while continuing to try to maintain resources for treatment of depression. 

Similar incidents are happening in the lives of families across the country.  But it seems the court system which once protected and advocated for families are instead advocating for Parental Alienation and Deprivation of Familial Companionship. 

The soldier who once fought and laid her life on the line to protect the Constitutional rights of every citizen of this country now has no one to protect her own Constitutional rights.

The government, which once upheld the Constitution that gave parents the right to raise their children without any interference now disregards that right and has given state officials more rights than the parents.  The laws, which were developed, to protect the victim in domestic violence now protect the perpetrator.

I feel the agony and grief of this once soldier, because I was that soldier. This happened to me.  I am a victim of domestic violence.  My daughter is in foster care and I am no longer able to see my own son.  I have all court documents, sworn statements, voice recordings, formal complaints and eyewitness accounts and will provide upon request to support that this is not just a dramatized story of exaggerated events but a real life account of a situation that seems never-ending.

Jennifer W.
Please sign my Petition

CPS Violates Law – Attacks Family

January 14, 2010 in Oregon, parental rights, Wisconsin

I recieved the following e-mail early this morning (Thursday, January 14, 2010 5:34 AM) from a distraught father. What kind of cold heartless people can condone this type of behavior? So, this is the type of “protection” our tax dollar buys for our children.

They have now taken away my visitation rights. Why?

Because after my daughter reported that it hurt when someone exposed her private parts to examine her, and after my son said that his foster mother was spanking him because he cries when he goes to sleep — I video taped my sons bruising and sent it to CPS investigators with a request for an investigation.

My childrens attorney ad litem (lawyer), is a friend to my wife’s lawyer. She said in court that I am destroying my children’s lives. I can barely catch my breath from the tears.

I asked them for help. I was being beaten once a month, for the last year. All that has happened is my abuser’s two by four has been replaced by the courts and CPS.

Abused Father

Dear Abused,

I’m not sure what you mean by “my abuser’s two by four”. Can you clarify that statement?

CPS Violates Law - Attacks Family: Tips and Hints

You need to go public with your complaints against the conduct of the Department of Health and Human Services. I won’t kid you, it can turn into a full-time job all by itself, but if you don’t stand up and fight, who will.

It’s time to take control of the situation and tip the scales in your favor.

  • Contact your U.S. House Representative and request and investigation.
  • File a formal complaint with CPS. It must be done according to the laws in your state and on the proper forms. They must investigate if you request one properly. It won’t make you any friends but they will be forced to look into your allegations.
  • File a police report. Document – Document – Document
  • Enlist the help of friends and family members. Having a strong support system can provide peace of mind and presents a stronger front to the officers of the court and can help your case.
  • Surround yourself with smart, positive minded people. You don’t need negative energy dragging down your efforts. Negative energy will only depress you and make everything harder.
  • Don’t make rash decisions. Stay focused on your goal and don’t get distracted. This is not the time to be be vindictive. Keep the focus on your children and while it might be tempting to express what you’ve gone through, it’s not helpful.
  • Don’t tip your hand by making threats or being rude. Act and dress professional and respectful. You can spew later.
  • Keep a positive attitude. You must know in your own heart that your children will come home and behave as such.
  • Take care of yourself physically. Remember to eat right, take your vitamins, avoid drugs, drink water and get plenty of exercise. If you are physically fit your mind will be sharp. You’ll need your wits to win.

The goal in all this, is to make it more costly and painful for them to keep your children, than it is for them to simply give them back. Use your imagination. If you are in the right — FIGHT.


Sample Documents and Proceedures

Where is the Church?

January 29, 2009 in Adoption, California, parental rights

A Father’s untold story; What’s behind Parental Alienation

January 28, 2009

Hi Ms. Jayne Major,

We met about a year & a half ago at your regular Denny’s restaurant meeting. I was in town after delivering an Airstream RV unit in Long Beach. It was great to hear some of your people tell their stories. Thank you for having Breakthrough Parenting Services and trying to stop parental alienation of children living in Los Angeles, Calif.

I’m caught up in my extended family abuse of my relationship with my son and the court enforcement of it. Some kind of intervention is needed. Maybe you can give me direction? From my end of it they have been hell bent on alienating me from my son and tight lipped.

The main opposition is coming from one of my younger brothers and his wife who are United Methodist. My brother is a pastor of a small church in Andover, Ohio. The court placed my 8-year-old son with my brother and his wife in 2000, after a temporary dependency incident that lasted only a few days and instead of resolving any concerns my brother or the court had in honesty and truth, they turned it into an excuse to never return my son.

They have used my mistakes as an excuse to terminate our father and son relationship. I know my brother is hostile towards me, and refuses to resolve the matter in adherence to the Christian instruction he is in the pulpit to preach.

For the court it’s about the huge amounts of money their making by dragging cases out and misappropriating the funds that are originally intended to help struggling families. All Bar Association affiliated attorneys have their hands tied and cannot get the job done right, even if they wanted to.

I’m self-described as a Born Again Christian and basically there is no meaningful assistance from the majority of the churches because they have registered and incorporated themselves with secular government, for the so-called benefits of limited liability and operate under a corporate charter, rather than simply follow and doing what the Holy Bible instructs.

Essentially, they have divorced themselves from their head, Jesus Christ, and do not realize they are being deceived — or if they do — and many of the pastors do, but not so much the congregations. They don’t care because they like the materialistic humanistic way of life and if the congregation doesn’t hold them accountable for their lack of properly spiritual leading, they will continue to deceive.

This is the reason why my pastor brother and his wife, et al, have been so calloused towards me falsely testifying against me in court resulting in the separation and alienation of my son and me from each other.

In order to be a true believer in God you have to stand for truth. The truth is to those who hate the truth; hate and they react in viciousness. Because they see that their fraudulent less than honest ways of making a living is threatened by the living witness of those who sincerely want to retain the freedom to live their lives, based upon the values that made us great to begin with. We govern ourselves according to the highest law, that of our creator, and not to have that value standard perverted and lied about, as if its some kind of crime to honor and respect your heavenly Father’s commandments.

I believe the anti-Christ government, police state, mentality that is rearing its ugly head is the number one terrorist and is being advanced by evil people in high positions to use fear and trauma to break the masses of people down in order to relinquish rights and be subjected to the socialist plundering of America.

If you have any helpful comments they will be appreciated. I am not highly educated but I am reaching out because I was given the gift of my son — to be my son’s father — and that comes with a sacred duty and responsibility that I was performing and wish to resume and continue to perform without unjust interference.

My son is 17 now and knows what happened and it’s strange to me that he ignores me by not doing anything to stay in contact. On rare events when I do see him off the record he acts very respectful and we have had pleasant times together, sharing, etc.

I want my son to have the best future he can and I know that God placed me here because as a his earthly father I am the only one along with his mother that has his highest best interest in mind, not the state.

I have come to a conclusion, that is, I have a relationship with my Father that I won’t let go. I also have a need to get closure concerning this crime brought against me, and my son. Before I can even think about getting on with the rest of my life, this corrupt custody case of abuse of the public trust has to be resolved.

Thank you for reading my story.
Richard Palo
General post-office
Conneaut, Ohio 44030
216-926-5003 cell

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